Nothing Was the Same

Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison's new memoir Nothing Was the Same is a love story like no other--two exceptional people, each doctors, each contending with a life-threatening illness. At age seventeen Dr. Jamison was diagnosed with manic-depressive illness. She lived through mania, paralyzing depressions, and a mercifully failed suicide attempt. In her Prologue she writes that manic depression is a kind of madness, such that she was determined to "avoid .perturbance. (such as falling in love). She believed she needed to "coddle" her brain and modify her life and thus her dreams. The renowned and charming scientist, Dr Richard Wyatt fell in love with her and she with him; they married and enjoyed nearly twenty years together until his sorrowful death from Hodgkin's disease. This brilliant scientist and beautiful human being had the added burden of dyslexia which required that he work four or five extra hours each day as he made his way through college, medical school, internship, residency, and his subsequent scientific career. This stunningly well-written memoir is about grief...grief and the beauty and complexity of their relationship...a relationship that was doubly fraught with the common misunderstandings of two human beings due to the debilitating, threatening illnesses they each suffered. One incident in particular serves as an example. Realizing that Dr. Wyatt's medical bag was at home, Dr. Jamison had a premonition and looked through its contents, finding in the bottom of the bag; hidden in its recesses what she feared: a syringe and a vial of antipsychotic medication. She was angered that he believed this was necessary. The last thing he intended was to hurt her and his reaction to her distress was heartfelt and painful. It was a difficult moment for him. "Medicine is imperfect." Wyatt tells her, quietly. "I am imperfect."..."You are imperfect."..."Love is imperfect." His patience, kindness and wisdom in the way he dealt with her erratic moods seem boundless and, in time, she changed; she learned to trust him. Nothing Was the Same has distinctive qualities that emerge from a talented writer who has the soul of a poet and the knowledge of an internationally esteemed psychiatrist. Dr. Jamison writes about her grief with the clear-thinking mind of a physician and the lyrical and sensitive nature of an artist's sensibilities, combining her love story with her intimate understanding, both private and professional, of the nature of grief. This grief, she relates, plunged her into a dangerous darkness. Grief "...has its own territory." "...a minute of sweetness and belief, and then the blackness comes again....this illness will always bring me to my knees. I accumulate sorrow and grief inside, which only wait until the next time to go out again, to remind me how always tides go out once in." Discussing the sometimes difficult-to-distinguish differences between the closely allied emotions of depression and grief, she writes that their emotions ove

Clinical psychologist Kay Jamison was lucky enough to meet and marry the one person who not only loved her unconditionally but also complemented and understood her as well as anyone could. Loving her was, she admits, no easy task. Jamison, who suffers from bipolar disorder, has been to hell and back. If you doubt this, read "An Unquiet Mind" (which Richard encouraged her to write), in which she vividly describes her harrowing descent into madness that nearly ended in suicide. Kay freely acknowledges that meeting Richard Wyatt, a gifted doctor and scientist with a funny and affectionate nature, was one of the best things that ever happened to her. The two spent nearly twenty years together. Sadly, Kay's "husband, colleague, and friend" passed away in 2002. As she watched Richard give up his hold on life with his accustomed grace and dignity, she began the process of grieving. She learned that "grief is a generative and human thing," and she shares her hard-won knowledge about its nature in her poignant memoir, "Nothing Was the Same." This book is a warm and candid tribute to an unselfish man who was a respected psychopharmacologist, a brilliant researcher, an exceptional teacher, and a comforting presence to all who knew him. Richard taught Kay that if she neglected herself by skipping her medication or eating and sleeping irregularly, then she would doom herself to an episode of mania that could spiral out of control. "Having lost my heart, I would then lose my mind." Richard instilled in his wife the idea that taking care of herself was pure common sense. To do otherwise would be foolish and dangerous. Everyone who knew Richard was inspired by his accomplishments. Although he was dyslectic, through hard work and perseverance, "he received his medical degree from Johns Hopkins, did his psychiatric residency at Harvard, and became Chief of Neuropsychiatry at the National Institute of Mental health." His severe dyslexia did not stop him from writing hundreds of papers and six books. He did pioneering work that contributed to "the understanding and treatment of schizophrenia and other diseases of the brain." Kay admits that, at times, she and Richard argued. She says, "His acceptance of me was deep, but it was not entire. At times he was enraged when I was ill; at others, he was bewildered or coolly distant." However, he was never judgmental. Richard understood that manic depression is genetic and that Kay was not to blame for being ill. Together, they learned how to work around Kay's severe mood disorder. This beautiful book is Kay's gift to Richard and to her many readers who have endured agonizing losses. She assures us that her sorrow has been alleviated somewhat by the many fond memories she has of Richard, and also by working, visiting with friends and family, reading poetry, and communing with the beauty of nature. "Nothing Was the Same" is an eloquent love letter to a remarkable man and it will serve as a source

This is a beautiful book about life after loss. Dr Kay Redfield Jamison writes about her relationship with her husband Richard Wyatt, a renowned scientist who battled debilitating dyslexia to become one of the foremost experts on schizophrenia. In recounting her own journey through grief, Dr Jamison writes a celebration of life, of love and of shared experiences. This is a beautifully written and deeply moving memoir which is easy to read and full of insightful self-awareness. I found many of those insights spoke to me on a very personal level. Jennifer Cameron-Smith

"Nothing was the Same" is a jewel. Kay Jamison is a world renowned expert in bipolar illness whose personal struggle with the illness was brilliantly elucidated in her earlier memoir "Unquiet Mind". This sequel is about her relationship with her deceased husband Richard Wyatt, an outstanding schizophrenia researcher. It is a love story including illness and death, followed by mourning and healing. Opening the front cover, one reads copies of love letters exchanged between them at the start of their relationship. The letters are very revealing about their character and are an augur of what follows. Jamison's writing is precise, perceptive, witty, and very elegant. It is a joy to read. Great writing offers the opportunity of enriching one's personal experience by viewing the experience differently or in a more nuanced manner. My son died of a cocaine arrythmia eight years ago. Her description of mourning is elegant and helped me be aware of nuances that I would have previously been unable to express. "Nothing was the Same" deserves to become a classic book on mourning joining "A Grief Observed" by C.S. Lewis.