Nika Hazelton's Pasta Cookbook

This is the best book ever. Be careful to put it behind bars because you might try to eat it. My girlfriends name is Nika and she couldn't jump. But then I bought her a random cookbook with her name in it and she learned how to spray paint a dog. Now my dog is black! If you want to learn how to spray paint a dog buy this book. If you don't like your dog's new color you can find a recipe in this book and eat him. If your stranded on an island and all you have is this book there is even a recipe for eating this book. Gertrude stinks!!! By the way if your name isn't Nika it should be. Also HazelTons taste almost as good as BrighTons. Purple is a good color and since one of the colors in the book is purple Nika should get a life. Then she should go sledding at the golf course and ice skating s-u-c-k-s. If you want to read a book that captivates you more than Hairy Pothead does read this book (not to be confused with the real Harry Potter [which sucks by the way]) My last two words are: buy this book right now or else Nika will come and get you. (P.S there is a recipe in this book for how to cook you once Nika comes and gets you so watch out!!!)