Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers

Author, coach and psychotherapist Lois P. Frankel explains how traditionally feminine behavior undermines women's career growth. She makes you feel as comfortable as possible while teaching you about "girlish" behavior that holds you back at work. As soon as she describes a problem, she jumps in with doable solutions, some easy, some quite challenging or time-consuming. Frankel shares case histories and offers many applicable techniques. She uses humor deftly and warns the gung-ho not to change everything at once. Now the caveats: Frankel does not grapple with the insoluble problem that women who behave in more forceful, unfeminine ways are often disliked and rejected, a maddening 'Catch 22' if you want to advance. She should warn that even smart tactics rarely help in a truly sexist workplace. She also needs to say that the wish to be liked isn't girlish, feminine or womanly; it is human. Contrary to platitude, other people can hurt and stigmatize you with their verbal abuse or harassment, no matter how strong you are. Still, although she hasn't unraveled every knot, Frankel comes a long way toward helping women diagnose - with a self-assessment checklist - and correct inadvertent mistakes that could be holding them back. We recommend her valuable counsel to women who want to become respected leaders.

Having read this cover to cover, I must say, if someone had been able to point out how segregating it was for me to behave and say some of these little things, I would have gone a lot further and been able to do more with my career. Frankel focuses on the equality factor without bashing men for their shortcomings or making women superheroes, two extremes that would serve no good purpose, especially in large print. We are not saints, and men are not demonized in this VERY helpful tome, and I assure you that having put it to work in the few short months that I have, EVERYTHING has changed at work and for the better. And what has changed the most is not only how I am treated, but how I treat others. The responsibility is on me for how far I go or fall, and Frankel makes that perfectly clear. HOW I am to take that responsibility, she also makes just as clear. What I do with this is up to me, so what I have done is just put it all into practice, and it really does work. For me. But then, I grew up in the deep South where manners and cotillions and pageants are EVERYTHING (in that day and age and in some places still are), and I had no idea just how much of that was so very out of touch and out of place in the workplace. I would recommend this book to any woman out there who hasn't gotten where she wants to be yet. You can get there, and Dr. Frankel shows you how in simple and straightforward terms with one simple phrase and a whole lot of savvy from experience: "QUIT BEIN' A GIRL!" Thank you, I'd rather be a woman anyday, especially at work, not to mention what it teaches my daughter, as I really want her to grow up knowing her worth is not based on being a "girl". And like the other reviewers I've seen here, I agree that more men should read this, because quite frankly, many of them just don't get it YET. But THEY WOULD if they took the time to read and really pay attention. I could go on, but why. Read it, it's worth it. Thank you Dr. Frankel for the smart tools that have helped change my life (I got the promotion last week--know why? As someone told me, "you got the professional manner I knew you had in you to come to the surface at last.") and I hope this helps anyone else in need or doubt.

I'm not in the corporate world, I'm in academics, but I still found these tips apply in the same way both to myself and to women I know. For what it's trying to do, this is an excellent book. It gives you the possible mistake you may or may not be making, often gives you an example where it occurs, and then offers very specific tips on how to change it. It is actually very empowering. On these merits, the book must be considered a success. It is also important to point out that some others reviewing this book appear to be reviewing it based upon criteria that it is not setting out to achieve. What the book is NOT meant to do is critique the business world. It is, perhaps, a very depressing situation is that women are often denigrated or not taken seriously simply because they are women and must communicate based on standards set by men (for example, women are socialized to have more of a tendency to apologize, to take responsibility for errors, to turn statements into questions, to ask opinions of the group, which are viewed as "mistakes" in the business world according to this book). If you simply want a book to help you navigate the professional world as it is, this is a great one. If you want to understand the social processes that contribute to creating the standards of professional world and how gender is part of that process, Kathleen Hall Jamison's The Double Bind is a good book.

My wife brought this book home and I took a peek. Yes, this author hits the nail on the head. Women in the workplace too often look for approval from others and when they don't do something right, apologize too quickly. Guys are naturally competitive and don't expect apologies. We're into using strengths and opportunities to the max as we move forward. If you are looking to others for approval, this book is for you. For the mental software to be your best and how to make the most of any personal or work situation, read Optimal Thinking: How To Be Your Best Self. When you use Optimal Thinking, you optimize yourself, others and your results regardless of your gender or your circumstances.

This book has been all that I hoped for and more. The book, in a nutshell, basically says that to get ahead in life, in career, in everything, women need to stop acting like little girls.Replete with examples from Ms. Frankel's consulting clients, this book gives practical, no-holds-barred evaluations of such behaviours as feeding people at the office, working too hard, asking questions instead of making statements, and "asking permission." That last was a revelation to me. As Ms. Frankel points out, we are all raised in a society that says you should get proper approvals before taking a step---any step. But men learn when to ask and when to just go ahead. Men learn how to apply the rubric "It's easier to get forgiveness than to get permission." Ms. Frankel pointes out that children, not adults, ask for permission to do perfectly rational things. I had never considered how detrimental to my career the habit of asking permission had been. But I decided to give Ms. Frankel's suggestions a try. I went to my boss and said, "I cannot come in on Friday." My boss looked nonplussed. I was petrified, but proud. I had done it. I had Made A Statement instead of Seeking Approval. And he didn't demur. He said, "Okay," and we went on with the day.If you are feeling frustrated by the glass ceiling, if you feel stuck and can't figure out why you can't get further in your career ambitions (and if you're a female), this book is definitely worth the investment. It opened my eyes to things I did that I never even thought about, things that presented an image of an incompetent child---not a competent, composed, and capable woman. My image is now improving, and yours can too.