Negotiate This!: By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much

Pretend that Cohen is your Uncle Herb. He is an internationally renowned expert on negotiation. You express an interest. He invites you to follow him into the attic of his home where he begins to remove from a chest all manner of papers. They are only casually organized. He is intimately familiar with each document. And each document inspires Uncle Herb to share an anecdote, aphorism, or even a complete story. "Everybody tells me I should write a book about all this!" Well, he has. This is it. What it lacks in cohesion it more than makes up for with fascinating experiences which Cohen has accumulated over many years. He organizes (if that's the word) his material within twelve chapters which range from "The Joy of Detached Involvement" to my personal favorite, "The Game of Life." His advice is eminently practical. At the end of each chapter, he provides a cluster of what he calls "Prominent Points." Here are a few:"Always view yourself as a problem solver, searching for creative alternatives that can satisfy both sides' real concerns and interests." (Chapter I)"Concessions are not appreciated unless effort is expended to obtain them." (Chapter V)"As the deadline approaches, remain confident and composed. Fretting and fussing is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere." (Chapter VII) "What matters is not what power you've got, but what the other side thinks you've got." (Chapter IX)With all due respect to the "Prominent Points," if you are looking for a comprehensive manual on negotiation -- filled with check lists, detailed case studies, etc. -- this isn't it. So what is it? As I attempted to suggest earlier, Cohen's style is informal, conversational really. He shares a wealth of information about his career and discusses several important lessons that he learned about human nature. The subtitle suggests the importance of caring about the given issues but not T-H-A-T much. So really, Cohen spends most of his time on the psychology of negotiation rather than on its mechanics. One clue to his attitude is revealed by the last of the "Prominent Points" at the end of the last chapter: "With all due respect, learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love vial e-mail. Thus, get out there and dare to begin."

Two decades ago I read "You Can Negotiate Anything" and was blown away by Herb Cohen's wise observations and tips. Since then it has been my bible for interpersonal dealings and saved me tens of thousands of dollars. Surprisingly, Herb's new book "Negotiate This" is even better. It's a riot to read and contains practical examples and anecdotes that can be easily applied. Without a doubt it's the best self-help book I've ever read. If you want to understand and predict human behavior and have the power to make things happen, buy and read this book.Very Highly Recommended!

It's a mistake to label this solely as a self-help book. It's so much more. Mr. Cohen has given readers a masterpiece - - a humorous page-turner that's filled with a philosophy of life that comes to most of us, if ever, only through long and arduous trial and error.As someone who has spent decades reading non-fiction books about selling, negotiating and human behavior, "Negotiate This" by far and away the champion - a tour de force.

Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much by Herb Cohen I had the pleasure of attending one of Herb Cohen's speeches several years ago on becoming a master of persuasion, and perfecting the art of meaningful negotiation. Of course, by that time, his signature work, You Can Negotiate Anything was already a must read book destined to become a masterpiece. That book, now 23 years old and still packing a solid punch will find company in the aforemention's current offering. Now comes Negotiate This! Albeit, with an interesting subtitle, "By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much", it gives the impressionable image that there's more to the title as implication would have you view it. It is inevitable that this author's seminal work, and a new twist to gaining footholds on how to win at an effective personal developmental tool would lend one to believe that there's something new to the game, and as you read Negotiate This! you'll be able to see just how different it is, yet some of the same principles in the former are present and prominent in the latter. Please be reminded that the purpose of this expose is not to draw parallels, but rather, to aim the reader's perspective in communicating how personal allegorical and simple logical insight to view experienced behavioral patterns can make a difference in positioning yourself to turn no's into yeses. In this book, you will find out why Cohen is such an accomplished, successful negotiator, a talent that personifies his creative intelligence, his intense focus on using the art of persuasion and emphasizing a negotiating style that is subliminal, entertaining and flexible. The primary message in this book is the negotiator's need to cultivate a certain aloofness, or employ an analogy to suggest a detached sense of awareness but still be able to take in the seriousness of what one should be doing to win -- hence the book's subtitle. I like the way he uses well-placed metaphors to color the street-smart advice on effective demeanor, an implied uniqueness to style and the importance of the bargaining process. As I read, I wanted to have the answers that kept cropping up in my head. To wit: Is it possible to create advantages in negotiations? When would you know that you have the upper hand? What ploys should be used to project a preeminent air to intimidate your adversary? Cohen manages to do an excellent job in explaining all of the above. As such, manipulating the perceived levels of time, information and positioning to create an advantage in negotiations is a must to foster the image that knowledge is indeed power. In the process he gives a perfect if not defining analogy of what negotiating is all about while using three precepts. He opines: "Negotiating often involves the managing of conflict. At times, however, some conflicts that come your way need not be confronted but should be avoided. If you have some perspective you can see things beginning to develop and use your lead time to adopt a blueprint

How can you get people to say "yes" to you? Herb Cohen knows. He packs a lot of punch into 300+ pages: colorful anecdotes from decades of his own negotiations, wise examples from the Book of Exodus to Winston Churchill, the importance of humor ("Humor, of course, is no laughing matter"), and how to turn powerlessness into power. Cohen's prophecies about mideast terrorism, first written in the mid-1980s, show he was way ahead of everyone else. I found his section on Jimmy Carter's bungling of the Iran hostage crisis to be particularly thought provoking - and infuriating - and very relevant to the world's post 9/11 crises. Highest recommendation.