Nasty People

This book has the potential to bring out a lot of rage as you realize those family members and coworkers, etc. who have caused you so much emotional pain over the years. Took me 57 yrs to find this book, I wish I could have read it many years ago. I used a highlighter throughout as I know I will need to return to it several times to undo years of psychological abuse. Thank you for writing it Jay Carter, you have helped so many by doing so.

The title of this book says it all -- Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt By Them Without Becoming One of Them! If any member of your social or work circle constantly attempts to use sarcasm or false, petty accusations to belittle you or bring you to anger, now you can find out what makes them tick. More importantly, you can also find out how to stop them cold! This is a very short, quick read that will make you feel empowered to take control of your emotions when dealing with these losers (and that's what they are) and thereby handle them without lowering yourself to be on their level. This is an excellent book with some excellent ideas. If it can give any comfort to the victim of one of these pathetic, invalidating bullies, then it is worth its weight in gold!

This book really helped me to recognize & somewhat understand "invalidators" as the author refers to them. I've met many and was married to the king of invalidators for over 6 years (felt like DOG years). This has helped me to identify the behaviors & ensure I that I don't participate in that sort of behavoir or tolerate it from others.

There were so many times while reading this book that I thought to myself, "holy sh##, that's why so and so is the way that he/she is!" It gave me a little more compassion towards the invalidators in my life and taught me about the cycle of cruelty and invalidation. This book is a fast, easy read. Every once in awhile I go back and re-read certain parts just to keep it all fresh in my mind (or if I start to lose my tolerance). If everyone read this, I think the world might be a little different and we'd treat each other better as human beings.

Yes, I am the author of this book. I have no axe to grind. No ego to protect. No royalties to protect. This book is over twelve years old and still selling. I have received thousands of letters and I have read every one. To date there were 3563 good letters, and three bad ones. Am I reviewing my own book? No. Hell. It is only good if people THINK it is. I am reviewing ... my reviews. Based on some of these reviews, it seems my book has ticked off a couple people. I may have offended "Invalidators" by making them psychologically naked and vulnerable. I think I might write a ... kinder-gentler book if I wrote it today. I feel badly that some reviewers took offense. "Invalidators" are who they are because someone ALREADY beat them down. Even so, I have no regrets for writing this book, which has now been read by over 3/4 million people. Am I saying that only an invalidator would criticize my book? Absolutely not. You judge that for yourself based on the review and the conflicting reviews. But if someone is controlling and suppressive to their mate, and that mate happens to read my book, and takes the next bus out of town ... it wasn't my BOOK that is to blame. I say this to be truthful, not to be "right" about it. And yes, my book makes a person feel much better by identifying the source of the problem, AND could use more concrete solutions as the Dr. from Wales so honestly noted. Maybe it's time for a revised edition. I have learned more in the last 12 years. Thank you for reading my review of the reviews. Dr. Jay

Four years ago I nearly took my life. After desperately reading books looking for answers, my brother found "Nasty People". He called me and told me to hang on until I could get the book! Within hours the book had made sense of what had happened to my world, which had been so cruelly turned upside down. Each sentence brought me peace of mind, that I indeed was not crazy. I had no idea there were "Nasty People". I could not explain to anyone what this person was doing to me. I looked like the crazy one. Jay Carters book was short enough, it could be read by those close to me and they could understand and see what was happening! I am still dealing with that person, but I am indeed dealing with him and have helped him to be a "Good Person". Jay Carters book is invaluable.