My Son... My Son: A Guide to Healing After Death, Loss or Suicide

After the 1977 suicide of her 20 year old musician son, Iris Bolton says, "to climb from that emotional abyss would force me to fight the hardest battle of my life." On top of that, she was faced with the stigma of a "failed parent", and, she felt like a "discredited counselor" as the director of a family therapy center. Suicide transmits a public ridicule and private humiliation, grief, guilt and anger. Bolton eloquently shares her experience with brilliant usage of metaphors to describe the tortured process from grief to survival. Again, this is HER story and we don't get to much information about the healing process of her other 3 sons and her husband. But the premise of this story and guide revolves around "a gift" promised by a friend and psychiatrist who said, that there is a gift for her in her son's death, hard to accept now, but it is there if she is willing to search for it if she chooses. What develops from her painful experience is the "gift"- the ability to truly help and guide others in similar situations. Her gift comes to play when she courageously assists a family whose 18-year old daughter commits suicide. Please read the talk she gave at the funeral in 1980. Another piece she offers is a compassionate message titled "Though We Meet as Strangers, By Our Love We Shall be Known"Included is a memorable and inspirational poem she wrote about her son, the consequences of suicide and regaining spirit. From there, she has prominently established herself to give hope to others that they, too, can survive and recover.Aside from Suicide Resources, what is especially important is a guide called "Beyond Survival" that simply lists steps to take. Only one who has healed and survived a tragedy can express this in words. And, crucial information is included called the "Do's and Don'ts." Not having gone through this experience, anyone and everyone giving comfort to those in need should examine this list! In our lifetime, we will encounter some form of comforting. This is an excellent book! Read it.....MzRizz

Anyone who is in the throws of trying to live with the suicide of a loved one whether it be a child or not could only benefit from owning this book.Of the many,many books I have read on this subject in the year and a half after losing someone dear to me to suicide I can tell you that this book has touched on every stage and emotion and left me feeling that what I go through emtionally and how I go through it is fine.At the stage I am at right now, I realize some of the things in this book would have not been acceptable to me in the beginning but, having had lived through them now, it's reassuring to know I am ok God bless Iris Bolton.

If I could recommend only one book for those dealing with the suicide of a loved one, this would be it. When our son died a year ago, we were fortunate to receive this book within days of his funeral. Besides being forthright about the special grief following suicide, it also brings a message of hope and healing. For those who may be put off by the title and are suffering through the suicide of a female relative/acquaintance, be assured that you will not feel left out. Iris Bolton also discusses the death of another family's daughter, which makes the book worthwhile for anyone.

In October 1998 my sister lost her only son to suicide. Our family has read every book we could get our hands on in order to try and help her. There is no better book out there. Mrs. Bolton does an excellant job of discribing the pain, the mistakes, and the lessons learned.