My Lives: An Autobiography

Edmund White has/is living a rich life. A Life that may or may not be rich in the monetary sense (though this changes throughout his life) but in the sense of being rich with the exalted currency of true friendship. Time and time again in this latest edition of his autobiography (though he may not call his other books "autobiographies," all of his works are drawn from his life as he states herein), "My Lives," White writes about men and women with whom he has remained friends over the course of his entire life: people that are compelled to keep in touch, both Gay and Straight. Some are formers Lovers, Some were objects of White's Lust and sometimes Love. The women, though never lovers, are still his friends because White is the consummate comrade: always available emotionally at least and at best available in the flesh to lend a hand. "My Lives" is divided into nine sections with names like My Mother, My Shrinks, My Hustlers, Mr. Genet, etc. but naturally all the sections bleed together as White excels in the fine art of straying from the topic. Along the way we get some sterling observations: "In the 1950's people were ashamed that they were inadequate; in the 1960's they were proud to announce that they were victims...Rilke had said, You must change yourself! But now people said: Everyone else must change." Though some of what he writes about his Mother, Lila Mae makes me wince, a lot of what White writes about her is very funny: "...Lila Mae's baseless optimism, her coquetry, her insistence that she was an old fashioned gal, 100 % feminine made us (White and his sister Margaret) cackle like gargoyles. Adolescents are wretchedly conventional as they tiptoe nervously into the great crowded ballroom of adulthood." As he does with all facets of his life, White's examination of his sexual obsessions is exhaustive and brutally honest: "...but all of these encounters with hustlers were as much an expression of fear as of desire, and above all they were animated by curiosity. I was swallowing the sperm of strangers and this feast convinced me that I possessed all of these men. I was like one of those nearly insane saints who must take communion several times a day..." So real, precisely expressed and profoundly learned...so much there to cause any number of people to bleed out the eyes. Edmund White is nothing if not blunt, honest: sometimes maybe to a fault but "My Lives," as with much of what White has written, is profoundly observant and beautifully composed. Though White is of course a fine writer particularly when it has to do with his own life, I think that in the long run as an observer of life in all its forms and as a commentator of all he sees, White's greatest contribution both personally and cosmically is his remarkable ability to earn the trust and retain the friendship of those with whom he has remained emotionally tied for many, many years. If a man is judged by how many true friends he has made and kept then White is a truly great h

Edmund White is a magical biographer. And, when it comes to writing his own autobiography, he is beyond compare. White's autobiography is breathtaking from the first paragraph. It is truly a work of genius.

What sets this memoir apart from others I've read is the way White chose to write it. By dividing his book into chapters or sections that explore topics that he felt colored the life he's led, I feel that I know more about him than I ever would have had he chosen to start at his birth writing the events in the order that they happened. In these ten sections, White writes about topics that set the stage for who he became as in "My Shrinks", "My Father", and "My Mother". In other sections he writes about topics that were passions for him at different times in his life as in "My Europe", or "My Genet". In "My Hustlers", and "My Master" he explores his sexual preferences, whereas in "My Blondes" he discusses the type of men with whom he chooses to fall in love. The sections "My Women" and "My Friends" round him out as a person capable of giving and receiving affection and loyalty. All of these topics overlap within sections and the result is a clearer picture of who Edmund White is as an individual and as a writer. Never in this book does White come across as the elder statesman or older gay male guru who has learned things in his life and now is ready to teach them to us the reader. It is so refreshing to see him as a person who knows that he hasn't rid himself of all his foibles and he comes across as more human because of it. He's never politically correct or ashamed of the things that he's done nor does he apologize for them as he shouldn't. He has always been and still remains a very sexual person in spite of his HIV status. Age (he's in his mid-sixties) hasn't turned him into a eunuch as evidenced by his passion for "T" in the section "My Master". White's writing is always good, always fresh, and often brilliant. There are excerpts here that are as good or better than the first page of Thomas Wolfe's "Look Homeward Angel", or the excerpt on "Joey" in the beginning of James Baldwin's "Giovanni's Room". I won't tell you which ones they are; I'll let you find them yourself.

In MY LIVES, Edmund White at 65 has finallly written his autobiography, saying that now is "the right time for casting a backward glance, while one is still fully engaged in one's life." And if we are to believe what the author tells us about himself, engaged he still is. Instead of writing a conventional chronological narrative, Mr. White divides his book into chapters with titles like "My Shrinks," "My Father," My Mother," "My Hustlers," "My Blonds," "My Friends," etc. He avoids saying much about subjects and people he has already covered in his earlier autobioigraphical novels, so he omits much discussion about his HIV status or the work that he has done in the fight against AIDS-- he was one of the founders of the GMHC (Gay Men's Health Crisis), for example, having been at ground zero when the AIDS epidemic hit in the early 80's. I wish he had said more about how living with HIV for over twenty years-- although he remains healthy-- has affected both his world view and his writing. What Mr. White does is give the reader a lot of information about his parents and people he has known-- a lot of whom he has had sex with-- over the years. (One marvels at his obvious continuing stamina at 65.) He, however, is neither easy on himself nor his parents, letting the reader know that his mother first learned of his father's infidelity when he gave her a sexually transmitted disease. He also relates that his father tried to seduce his daughter when she was 13 or 14 and describes him as "one of the most boring men ever to draw breath." He writes in minute detail of his own sexual adventures, often portraying himself in a less than favorable light. While White writes about his "passivity and self-hatred," he also maintains that he is a really good friend, listing his qualities "necessary in a friend--tenacity, a large capacity for acceptance, curiosity, a genuine pleasure in other people's happiness." He encourages other fledgling writers, something easy to prove outside this memoir since all one has to do is read the many endorsements he freely gives other writers. If you are looking for a positive role model to assist young gay men to assimilate into the greater heterosexual society, you should look elsewhere. If you are interested, however, in an honest account of one gay man's journey through the last half of the 20th Century, you'll be rewarded for your efforts. For those youngsters who may find fault with Mr. White, just remember that you cannot conceive of what it was like to have been a gay teenager during the repressive Eisenhower 1950's. His remembrance of that era is totally accurate. No one writing in English today is better at words than Mr. White. His imagery is superb: "He [Charles Silverstein] taught me the subtle ways in which internalized homophobia had left its traces all over me, like a lapdog's muddy footprints on clean sheets." Or White's description of his mother after she and his father were divorced: "It was as if after hobbling

For over thirty years, Edmund White has written some of the most insightful fiction and non-fiction about American life. He's successfully blended autobiography and the novel to capture the startling ideological and political changes of the country. The scope of his books range from a time when homosexuality was branded a psychological disease to recent strong campaigns to legalize gay marriage. The vivid experiences he's written about are artistically shaped to allow the reader to see things from an entirely new perspective while also finding common emotional ground. This memoir allows us access to White's own true experiences for one of the first times. After re-imagining his life so thoroughly in his popular novels A Boy's Own Story, The Beautiful Room is Empty, The Farewell Symphony and The Married Man, one would assume there would be nothing left to tell. But, in fact, White has led such a rich and varied life that there are numerous important moments and ideas which haven't yet been committed to paper. My Lives allows us intimate access to the real man while still providing thoughtful commentary on affairs beyond his own experience. Rather than write a straightforward account of his life, White has organized his memoir in sections about particular aspects of his experience such as My Shrinks, My Hustlers, My Friends, etc. At times in this book his pithy summation of a period of American life can be startlingly insightful: "In the 1950s people had been ashamed to admit they were inadequate; in the 1960s they became proud to announce they were victims." In other parts, the intimate details he reveals about his life are so shocking that White humorously guesses at some people's reactions: "'Must we have every detail about these tiresome senile shenanigans?'" However, White's probing exploration of his past has much more value beyond mere gossip. He explores the mechanics and mysteries of desire better than any other writer. The memoir also uses individual experience as an analysis of the larger society by putting historical frameworks around sections of his life. This book is not the great elder artist, purveyor of gay literature and international lover boasting. Rather, he reveals that he is still a fragile and tender individual who is prone to despair, hopeless infatuation and self-doubt. Bravely and with his usual beautifully crafted prose, the author proves that there is still so much more to tell. This book is a treasure filled with sumptuous and enlightening details and is essential reading for any fan of White's fiction.