My Joy My Sorrow

I am trying not to be biased, since I am a volunteer for the Karen Ann Quinlan Hospice. The book is so wonderful in that it is such a sad story, yet told without self-pity. With all Mrs. Quinlan has accomplished, it is hard to imagine the agony she has suffered. And all the good that came out of it. A beautiful book.

An amazing book in which Julia Quinlan tells her life story and the circumstances of the famous Karen An Quinlan case. Mrs. Quinlan explains that her deep faith and family values help her cope with this tragedy, which is any parent's worst nightmare. That she is able to retain her faith and love of God is a miracle. A quick read.

This is a beautifully written book about a family of seemingly ordinary people who, each in their own way, proved to be great human beings. They were thrust into an incredible nightmare when their Karen Ann went into an irreversible coma. The family's only concerns were to do what they thought was right and what they knew Karen Ann would have wanted them to do. Their struggle to follow through on their beliefs and Karen's wishes changed the world. People are known by the company they keep. We are fortunate that this deeply personal book allows us to keep the company of Julia Quinlan. Thank you Julia, for this wonderful gift.

Anyone who has, is, or might be involved in making " Life and Death " decisions for a loved one needs to read this book.

For those unfamiliar with the story of Karen Ann Quinlan, the best place to begin this book is Appendix A, "The Legal Battle: A Chronology," which outlines the family's struggle to have their daughter weaned from her respirator, even though that act was likely to hasten her death. You will see that in 1975 Karen Ann was ruled to be in a persistent vegetative state with no hope of recovery, that her parents' efforts to minimize what they saw as her suffering were blocked by physicians and hospital administrators, and that their wishes were followed only after a ruling by the New Jersey Supreme Court. In the pages preceding the appendix, we meet Joe and Julia Quinlan, devout Catholics, who married in 1946 and by 1957 had three children. They adopted their first child, Karen Ann, and Julia gave birth to Ellen and John. We learn about their early family life, with children attending Catholic schools and parents taking an active role in their lives. Joe and Julia embarked on a "new normal" on April 15, 1975, when they were called to the hospital where 21-yeaer-old Karen lay in a coma, which was shortly ruled to be irreversible. Though Julia's story involves legal battles to have the respirator removed, its real significance is the family's strength and faith and the support they received from others, including clergy and law enforcement officers, who helped the family protect Karen's privacy from the press and public, some of whom were making threats. As the book closes, we see the tight family bond and strong faith in action. After Karen's death in 1985, in appreciation for the nursing home care she received for those 10 years, and to honor her memory, Joe and Julia got involved in hospice work. Eventually Karen's brother and sister also devoted time to the cause. From 10 years of "waiting for Karen's time" to their subsequent efforts to ease the final days of others, this family is truly inspirational in part because they seem not to think of themselves as heroes.