On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave me a kiss...on the cheek. On the second day, she gave me a cup of coffee. (Actually, I shared hers as we drove to work.) On the third day, I told her she's still as hot as when we first fell in love all those years ago. (What? Are women not supposed to call each other hot?) On the fourth day, I dared her to kiss me for real. On the fifth day, the dare began to get out of hand... It...