Migrations of the Heart

This story begins in the 60's, during a time that there was a constant question in the air, I believe, of Blacks, amongst Blacks and Africans, regarding loyalties.I truly loved reading this autobiography, because Ms. Golden lives through many social pressures, that in the beginning she accepted as part of her responsibility to live in, and endure.She marries a man who in the beginning seemed like the right guy. But soon learns that her self-concept, her causes and her life view conflict with her husband's emotionally shut down attitude. It also conflicts with the unspoken social rules that her in-laws expect of her.I especially adored some of the wisdom that Ms. Golden shares in this book, when she learned from other women, "Our husbands will forgive infidelty. But a betrayal of our most importnat duties as wife, that's what they'll never forgive."She asks what is meant by this, and is told a very true, unspoken message that is part of every culture. The message is that the duty of all wives, according to traditionally thinking men, is that we are there to set the stage on which their lives will unfold.I had the opportunity, after reading this book to ask many men what they think of this message. And I asked in different ways, to each men. The answer was the same - "Yes. It is true."And for the women that I discussed this with, they responded with, "Wow. That is true."A message like this, one which we women learn, and make part of our lives, can make a huge difference in our relationship, because then we are more able to accept that if we are to set the rules, from the very beginning, and be consistent with those rules, we are more apt to get what we want.Read this little book to explore a woman's journey to finding her place in life.

The author goes into detail about growing up in Washington, DC and then talks about her relationship with her African husband and the other relationships that women and men have formed with Africans. Her marriage at most, was turbulent due to patriarchal customs. She befriended a woman in Nigeria who was an African-American married to a Nigerian who was barren and treated as an outcast by his family and him. Marita has heard from this woman that women have left their husbands not even requesting for their things that they have left behind. The author thought that because she was marrying an African, she would have been treated better. Sadly, she learned that a man is a man, no matter what ethnic origin he is.