Men's Relational Toolbox

I liked this book. It is written in a manner to be approachable to many men. They use the toolbox as a metaphor on aspects of relationships. The toolbox makes this subject more approachable than other texts I've read. The gist is that men are are innately expert in 6 aspects of relationships, (fact giving, fact finding, take charge, task oriented, problem solving, competitive drive), while women are innately expert in a different 6, (open sharing, patient listening, win-win, selfless honor, time and energy). The authors make no bones that each individual is imbued with differing levels of the 12, but they offer extremes or gender generalizations to illustrate the topics. Each reader will have to determine how expert they are with each tool. This ground has been ploughed before with John Gray's book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", among others. The topics is approached from a different point of view, with this one being Christian/bible based. One main point of the book is that to be a complete person, as illustrated by Christ's examples is to be expert in all the tools. All the tools are need to form complete, sustained, and fulfilled relationships. The 6 "female" tools being that areas for development for men. I could be overly sensitive, but I'm bothered by the hidden assumption that men need fixing. I struggle with a society that seems to assume that men are in need of fixing, hence the number of books that strive to help men. There seems to be fewer books to help women develop their lesser areas. I suppose if you accept the biblical proposition that men are the leaders of the family and the body of Christ, the onus is on us to to seize the opportunity. It would be nice if some one said that the other gender needs some help too.

This book is a great tool for the man that would like to better his relations with his family and friends. It has a lot of thoughts and ideas for improving your relationship, especially with your spouse. It's a great book for a group of men to study together to become a better person. I think that every man should read this book and it would not hurt for every woman to read it too. I believe that it would help make better relations between both sex.

This book is a quick read, but it very comfortably covers a lot of important topics. Contrary to one of the reviews on the site, it tries very hard not to belittle men. Of course the authors are men. It starts with the premise that men are designed by God to do certain things well, lead, protect, and problemsolve, and that men get into relational trouble when they bring the "tools" of these trades and try to apply them in a relationship. Together with "Wild at Heart" by John Elderidge, it is a good kick in the pants to become the man God intends you to be.

As a relationship and romance author, speaker, and coach I read a lot of books about dating, marriage, and romance. "Men's Relational Toolbox" is a MUST HAVE for guys!The metaphor of tools in a toolbox gives guys immediate access to the message with terms and concepts that are easily understood. I really appreciate the fact that they thought long and hard about how to convey a positive perspective on men participating in a relationship. You will find out:Why men are the way they are...What tools do we already have that we can bring to bear...Conversational style differences between men and women...The right tool to use and when...Adding new tools...The book then summarizes the one-two punch that has the greatest impact on relationships - good communication and positive action.The best part of the book though is the final chapter on forgiveness. Every relationship brings hurts as we give more of ourselves and become more and more vulnerable. The levels of love given and pain inflicted are can be exhilarating and debilitating. I recently read a comment that said "Hatred is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." Whether simple dislike, anger and frustration, or out and out hatred; Forgiveness is the antidote that heals the hurt and turns us back toward love. The five step process the book gives is an excellent tool that you should keep on the top of your toolbox.Get yourself a copy of this book now. You, and your partner, will be glad you did.

I just wanted to say this work was and is an exciting venture for the three Smalley men. Our goal for this book was to encourage men about their natural relational skills and to also teach some new, not so natural skills. Hopefully you will laugh out loud when reading this book. We're guys, we know books can be boring, and we promise you won't snooze through this one.I met a guy in an airport recently who said, "I was laughing so hard the other passengers (on the plane) were irritated!"Hope you enjoy the book, we sure enjoyed writing it!Michael Smalley