Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse

I am a Christian survivor of incest. I have read many books on dealing with and healing incest issues. This is the first book I have read that presents material for Christians, and it has had a profound effect on the issues I have faced. Not only does it address the nature of abuse, it also addresses the aftereffects of abuse: shame and powerlessness. In my opinion, the most important section of the book is The Healing Path. It gave me hope and explained the steps needed for the survivor to know God can indeed heal the soul.Other books address the mental and emotional aftereffects of incest. This book addresses the most important part of abuse: the damage it does to the soul. As a believer in God, it gave me a path to follow to heal my soul. For anyone raised in a church and felt abandoned by God because of incest, this is a must read.

This book, written by on of the foremost experts on abuse and recovery in the country, provides great insight on the healing process and provides hope to the wounded. Dr. Steven Tracy has a remarkable way of packaging truth and love, enabling those healing to move at their own pace while at the same time challenging them to grow. This book is written to the professional counselor providing a framework for guiding another through the healing process. However, it is just as readable by those suffering from the lingering pain of abuse, providing a refreshing breath of hope as one heals. I highly recommended this book to professionals, lay counselors, and especially suffering individuals. This book will become an indispensable part of your healing library if you are suffering from the pain of abuse, know another who is or provide help to those who are.

I have read many different books on abuse, from both the abused point of view, and the counselor's point of view. This is the most thorough, concise and "user friendly" book I've ever run across. It's thorough and concise in that it gives strong teaching in not only what abuse looks like, but how to unlock the damage done. It's "user friendly," in that it provides several "real life" illustrations that more clearly define the teaching that's being done. I would HIGHLY recommend this book to both abuse victims, and their counselors. I learned more from this book than I've ever learned from any other given resource. If you are an abuse victim, or one working with an abuse victim, this book is a DEFINITE "must have." I recommend that you read it slowly, and carefully. It's RICH in content.

How could one little book save our economy hundreds of millions of dollars? Not to mention avert the suffering and shame of untold thousands? If church leaders and laity alike, heck, if the English reading public at large would read this book and apply it to their businesses, homes, and churches could you imagine the results? How about the early discovery of abuse, the breaking of the cycle of abuse in our society? To abuse: means to use wrongly, or improperly, or to misuse. Imagine if our society could identify abusive people, families, and institutions quickly based on key indicators? Imagine if the scandalous handling of the abusive priest situation in the Roman church had been handled according the tenets of Mending the Soul? Steve Tracy tells us why abuse is rampant, predictable, and most importantly, redeemable. Written by a theologian with help from his counselor wife, Mending the Soul helps us to understand the effects of abuse including shame, powerlessness, deadness, and isolation. Steve Tracy lays out the healing path to face the brokenness, and to rebuild intimacy. Forgiveness is discussed including helpful and harmful models of forgiveness. Start a group within your neighborhood, small group, or workgroup with this book. Or perhaps read it and recommend it to a friend of relative. If knowledge is power- this book is dynamite! Scott Brewster, B.S. Finance, M.B.A., Ph.D. © Church Administration

I could write a novel about this book, but I'll try to keep it brief. The reader of this review should know up front that I'm biased; I know the author and his wife well, and have served with them in their ministry. I greatly respect them both, and so my opinion of this book is in no small part shaped by my affection and respect for its author. Dr. Tracy spends a great deal of the book showing hard research on the devastating effects of abuse. So many churchy people want to act like abuse can't happen in the church; Dr. Tracy was in the same boat until he found out that a fellow pastor in his church was beating his wife. Also, each chapter is prefaced with a real-life personal story that illustrates the point that the chapter is making. Chapter topics include ideas like (ungodly) shame, denial, emotional deadness, and many of the other common results of abuse. Practical issues like forgiveness and reconciliation are covered, but with much more care than most theologians exercise. For instance, when Luke 17:3 says, "If your brother sins against you rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him," doesn't that imply conditional forgiveness? Dr. Tracy parses this as "relational forgiveness," akin to reconciliation. That is, biblically, we aren't required to enter again into a close relationship with someone who hasn't turned from their abusive ways. How many times have you ever heard this? Rarely have I, but it's right there in the Bible. A different sort of forgiveness, according to Dr. Tracy, is unconditional, and that is simply giving up one's desire for vengance against the abuser. This would be what most people would call forgiveness, but too many counselors and pastors teach that we're required to enter back in to a relationship when the abuser hasn't really repented. The material on ungodly/illegitimate shame is excellent, as this is one of the major ways that Satan uses a God-given mechanism for conviction of sin to go way beyond that and tempt a man or woman to be self-condemning. IOW, God wants us to grieve over our sin, but not to grieve over who he made us to be. We should hate our sin, but not ourselves, as we are made in His image. This is not pop-psych "self-esteem," but solid foundational theology. A great book for anyone wishing to look at their own history of abuse and gain healing, or for anyone who wishes to grow in their own knowledge and compassion towards those who have been abused. This includes pastors, counselors, youth leaders, and husbands and wives of the abused.