Mediating Dangerously: The Frontiers of Conflict Resolution

This is a passionate, in-your-face plea for exploring the difficult process of transformational mediation, truly digging into the roots, the skin, the pores of people's, group's and organization's conflicts (although Cloke denies being a wholehearted transformational mediation believer). Cloke is the highly respected author of numerous books on conflict resolution and the director of the Center for Dispute Resolution in Santa Monica, Calif. He has a very fine sense of the nature of conflict, in all its rough-and-tumble, down-and-dirty depth and breadth. Cloke deftly and deeply explores the psychological, emotional and spiritual nature of conflict within each of us - an important facet of mediation. But sometimes, in his very exploration of these matters, he overreaches in his hopes of what mediation can accomplish. Certainly, in the confines of community mediation, even generally with only few participants involved, there is just so much of transformational mediation, of this deep personal examination that one can accomplish in basically a two-hour time period, the general length of most community mediations, at least in most of the United States, I believe. I find Cloke veering toward encouraging counseling and psychotherapy as part of meditation. Mediators are rarely trained in these and other similar fields and should tread lightly when going beyond their skill level and the parameters of mediation itself. In other forms of more in-depth and complex mediation, these possibilities might be explored, but in community mediation, it hardly seems likely or even possible. Cloke does come up with some astute observations. He says to not be afraid of conflict, which obviously can become tense and heated. This is very important, especially in Minnesota (where I've been a community mediator for 19 years), where people are frequently afraid of confrontation, of raising of the voice, where, from my understanding, the introductory comments of Minneapolis Mediation Program mediators are suppose to include saying basically that the participants should not raise their voice and not get confrontational, something I have never been comfortable saying, and something I as a mediator rarely do indeed mention. He gives an outstanding list of questions mediators can use in exploring conflicts (pages 37-38), citing a specific case of bullying. Mediation absolutely benefits from deep and clear thinking, and this series of questions is an excellent example of how a mediator can explore participants' conflicts in a very thoughtful and crucial way. This is a very valuable exploration. Cloke does a very good job of telling and showing how to become a better, more insightful mediator, a more self-examined mediator and person. Sometimes, however, Cloke can have his head in the clouds in his hopes and dreams of what mediation can be. On page 47 he mentions "...moving conflicts beyond settlement and resolution, beyond resolution to personal and organizational transform

This book connects conflict mediation with spiritual growth. I found it extremely insightful. Not always easy reading, it takes a bit of time to digest, but this man has a very deep knowledge of both conflicts and human consciousness. This book is a guideline to changing the way you behave when you have conflicts, or to help others that have conflicts. One of the best books I read in the past few years.