Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship

Talk about a wake-up call. I'm 30 years-old and feel like this book taught me more about relationships (men vs. women mentality) in 1 hour than I've learned in all that time. While reading it, you will have light-bulb after light-bulb type moments. Heck, you may even smack yourself square in the forehead with a resounding, "D'oh!" John Gray knows men and he knows women, and the biggest lesson he contiues to teach is that we are NOT the same. We do NOT think the same. This book does a fantastic job of not only explaining that, but also giving us advice on how we go about having a successful relationship in spite of our differences. A must read. For women...AND men!

I am a skeptic and I usually do not like relationship self help books, but this one offers such practical advice, and is such a fun and easy read that I was immediately sold.Rather than telling men and women how they should act/what games they should play, Gray just offers some observations about how men and women ARE -- ie Men are like rubber bands -- they don't pull away because they are manipulative or control freaks, rather it is just the way they are programmed. If you leave them alone, they'll bounce back. This is the kind of insight I could have used in my twenties. Now a just-divorced thirtysomething who has jumped back into the dating scene ("Meeting, Mating and Cheating" by author Orr is another book I highly recommend for a true picture of the online dating world) I am finding John Gray's book a useful resource that helps me keep my head together, and stay cool through the process. I think John Gray is brilliant and I am sure he has saved many relationships.

Heard the taped version of MARS AND VENUS ON A DATEby John Gray . . . extremely informative (at least to me) tourof the five stages of dating: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and engagement.Gray presents ideas on how to find your soul mate, as wellas thoughts on how to create a loving and mutually fulfillingrelationship . . . he has the ability to make sense outof ordinary situations that appear easy to handle, yet inreality are anything but that.I know I liked the material, in that I had to get a copy ofthe book (after listening) so that I could share just a few of the many memorable passages . . . among them:* When you [a man] make a mistake, use a negativeadjective--a "nadjective"--to describe yourself or what you did. These are a few examples:I'm sorry that I was late. . . . I was really inconsiderate.I'm sorry about the things I said yesterday . . . I thoughtabout it and realized that I was overreactive.I'm sorry I didn't call you back sooner. You're right; I wasreally insensitive.I'm sorry that I forgot to get the tickets. It was reallyselfish of me.I'm sorry you felt excluded at the party. . . I was inconsiderate, it was really mean.I am really sorry about the things I said. I was reallybeing defensive.* Women will appreciate any sincere compliment, but whena man puts a little more thought into his words, she will like it more. . . . The more special the adjective, themore special she feels. These are some examples:PLAIN COMPLIMENT (PC) vs. JUICY COMPLIMENT (JC)PC, That is a nice picture. JC, You are incredibly artistic.PC, You look good tonight. JC, You look magnificent tonight.PC, You have a nice smile. JC, You have a radiant smile.PC, You look good. JC, You are so gorgeous.PC, You look nice. JC, You are so lovely.PC, You look nice. JC, You look beautiful.PC, That is a nice dress. JC, You look so exquisite in that dress.PC, You have nice eyes. JC, You have such a special sparkle in your eyes.Even a plain compliment can be juiced up with any of thesefive simple words: so, really, very, always, and such. [For example, to juice up the most basic compliment, "You look nice."]1. You look so nice. (attraction)2. You look really nice. (interest)3. You look very nice. (enthusiasm)4. You always look nice. (familiarity)5. You have such a nice look. (pride)To express more feeling in a compliment, he can just repeatany of these words or combine them like this:1. You look so, so nice2. You really look so nice.3. You look very, very nice.4. You always look so nice.5. You really have such a nice look.Women can also use these five words to express morefeeling in their indirect compliments to a man. Let's apply these five words to one of the most basic compliments thatany man loves to hear, "I am happy we did this."1. I am so happy we did this.2. I am really happy we did this.3. I am very happy we did this.4. I am always happy to do this.5. I am so happy; I had such a good time.* When a woman talks about problems, a man mistakenlyassumes

When I've read the famous/infamous 'The rules' I was in doubt; but when I've read 'Mars and Venus on a Date' I was convinced... The controversial 'The rules' uses time old and wise observations (even though they are oversimplified and sound manipulative), but this book takes those 'truths' and explains them from the point of view of human psychology. I understand why feminists might hate this book and why they might think it takes us (females) back a hundred years -- (if you happen to be one - the book might be that proverbial red cloth for a bull). The bottom line is -- we (as in males, females, species etc.) are created particular way... information written in our genes, many hundreds of thousands years ago, necessary for the survival of the species, regardless whether we are nice guys/girls or jerks and 'game players'. Men and women act and feel and are motivated by certain things, and not because we are mean or manipulative. I've scanned quite a few books on the subject of dating and interpersonal psychology and this book is an eye opener for those of us who can't figure out whether we should be our authentic selves in every situations or whether there is a necessity to follow some sort of rules or guidelines for successful dating. (I compare it to polite and acceptable rules of, say, behaving at a dinner table). Buy it and read it!! (it's about a buck on half.com) and even if you disagree, you will benefit from this alternative and precious knowledge!!

First of all, to answer another reviewer's concern about how the author gained his knowledge, John Gray holds a Ph.D. and is extremely well respected around the world in his area of expertise - the psychology of human realtionships. His qualified opinions are not based simply on personal experience or opinion, but on proven, scientific fact and theory. His acclaimed books have been published and sold by the millions, world-wide, in forty languages. Like his renowned book, "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus" this book is an insightful look into the psychology of the male-female relationship. This one, however, draws on the behaviours before marriage or a commitment has been made. As Grey points out, normally there is a five step sequence of events that takes place when dating: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacey and engagement. As a counsellor who has studied psychology and human behaviour, this is one book I have recommended to many couples and received nothing but positive feedback, not once have I heard a negative comment.This author deserves abundant praises for his research, expertise and writing ability. His books are an opportunity for both male and female readers to learn and understand more about themselves and their personal relationships. He adds a slight touch of humour to his unique writing style, and from the very first page, the reader cannot help but feel, "this is a person I can trust." Based on the world-wide success of books, obviously a multitude of other readers around the globe agree. His books are not "sexist" as some believe; they are an actual account based on fact from a psychological perspective. For anyone who complains about the length of the book, a shorter version would not do the book justice. Each page is a key component to the overall picture, and if you fail to see it's purpose, you are missing out on a valuable part of the overall analyis. I highly recommend "Mars and Venus on a Date" to anyone who is dating, regardless of age. Gray has a terrific presentation style and the principles of the book are not limited to any particular age group. Even if you are not currently dating, read the book anyway; it contains some insightful and priceless observations.