Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective

Fr. John Meyendorff's Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective offers overviews of the major themes that Orthodox couples are likely to come across in marriage as well as explanations of the meaning of the Orthodox wedding ceremony and its history and development. Following are some of the highlights of the book: 1. Wedding as a Separate Rite Section VI, "The Contemporary Rite of Betrothal," offers one example of how the form of marriage developed over the centuries in the Orthodox Church. "The new responsibility given to the Church by the laws of Emperors Leo VI and Alexis I--that of giving formal legitimacy to all marriages--required the adoption of new liturgical forms. These new forms, on the one hand, were to be separate from the Eucharist and, on the other hand, had to reflect the eternal and unchangeable teachings of the Church about the meaning of marriage" (p. 29). Although the Orthodox Church views herself as having preserving certain truths since the days of the Apostles, it cannot be said that the form of the marriage ceremony has been remained unchanged since those days. "Orthodox Byzantium, with its remarkable ability to interpret Scripture, to relate it to the central mystery of Christ, to use signs and symbols in expressing the meaning of the Christian faith, produced in the tenth and eleventh centuries the two present-day Orthodox services of betrothal and crowing" (p. 29). The betrothal service takes the place of the marriage contract. In it, the bride and the groom each promise to one another faithfulness. "It was originally a civil ceremony. By assuming responsibility for it, the Church did not suppress the legal and moral obligations imposed by the Old Testament law, by roman law and still maintained by our own contemporary society. She rather provided them with a new Biblical and spiritual meaning" (p. 30). 2. "Mixed" Marriages Fr. John recognizes the reality of "mixed" marriages between Orthodox Christians and non-Orthodox Christians in a pluralistic society such as ours. "It is certainly possible," he writes, "without being members of the same Church, to enjoy friendship, to share interests, to experience a true character compatibility, and, of course, to `be in love' with each other." Yet Fr. John cautions against these relationships: "the question is whether all these human affinities can be transformed and transfigured in the reality of the Kingdom of God if one does not share the same experience of what this Kingdom is, if one is not committed to the same and unique Faith" (p. 51). For Fr. John, one's faith is not merely "Christian," but rather, "Orthodox Christian," or "Protestant Christian," etc. I would contend, however, that one's faith is not in a denomination; rather, it is in Christ. Two Christians who have encountered the living Christ and who have been transformed by His love do share the same faith, and the potential for a love relationship between them knows no limits, even if they belong to separate denomina

When my cousin was married, my gift to her and her non-Orthodox husband was a wedding program that I wrote. I felt it would make the ceremony more interesting for the groom's family. It proved educational for my family as well. This book was an excellent reference. It provided an explanation of each part of an Orthodox marriage ceremony, why it occurs, and the historical origin. It provided a wealth of information in an easy-to-read format for non-Orthodox and Orthodox alike.