Many Roads One Journey: Moving Beyond the Twelve Steps

I was raised in a family where everyone was/is involved in one or more of the 12-Step programs and was taught that attending AA and working the 12 Steps was the only way to stop drinking, or to recover from being a child of an alcoholic. In fact, to my subsequent embarassment, I have preached those rules to people without really knowing what I was talking about. But in spite of this, I have always felt uncomfortable with some of the language in the 12-Steps and other 'conference-approved literature', and this book helped me figure out WHY I was uncomfortable, and also reassured me that I wasn't going to go to hell for not being in a 12-Step program (I'm joking here, but since the 12-step 12-step philosophy is essentially my family's religion, the comparison is apt.)This book clearly explains the history of the 12 Steps, the original intentions of Bill W. (founder of AA), the ways the steps are implemented in current 12 Step programs, and, very importantly, why they don't "work" for a lot of people (contrary to the message that one gets in AA and other step groups). She also takes a look at the strengths and weaknesses of alternative recovery programs. Despite the opinions of some other readers, I found the book very non-judgmental - Ms. Kasl doesn't tell people not to go to AA or whatever if it is working for them, and she certainly doesn't tell people that her sixteen-step method is "the way", or that you need to agree with everything she believes. She just points that, contrary to many people believe, "working the steps and going to meetings" is NOT the only way, and there are many people who have gotten and stayed sober without AA.If you've ever felt uncomfortable with the 12 Steps, or have not been able to work the program successfully, or have not felt comfortable attending meetings, this book will help you realize that those feelings are not indicative of "defects of character", and will present an alternative philosophy which may make more sense to you. It certainly did to me. Five stars for this book, and many thanks to Ms. Kasl for writing it!

My only regret is that I didn't read this book years ago. Although there is much to be said for 12 step programs (especially in initial stages of recovery), many people feel excluded by them for various reasons. Sadly, they are then told by people in the addiction field and in AA that they "are not trying hard enough" or just "don't want sobriety badly enough" .Alternatives to 12 step groups are not offered by many treatment centers and counselors so those who do not fit into the mold reeive no guidance or choices. To read a book which not only spells out other options, but sets out reasons why you may not fit in AA is affirmingAlthough I concluded years ago that I would never fit into the mold, this is the first time I have ever had my reality validated. It is refreshing to read a book in the addiction field that encourages thinking outside of the box. This book will save lives - hopefully people will realize they do not have to choose between sobriety and being part of a herd. If you are a therapist and work with alcoholics, addicts, etc. you owe it to your clients to read this book and familiarize yourself with options other than 12 step groups.

This book is a treasure. I am a black female. I read this book last year. I was making 10,000 a year working as a clerk and, I was in a relationship with an abusive, sex addict. I attended several traditional CODA 12-step groups where they were telling everyone to become more humble, less egotistical and ask others to forgive them for all the bad things they've done and so on. I guess that works if you are a member of a group/several groups who have always had social and economic power and priviledge in America. I would always leave feeling even less self-esteem that before I came. This would have the effect of making me try even harder to put up with this "relationship". Now I understand why the 12-steps did'nt work for me. Her insight and compassion for women and other races/socio-economic groups is unbelievable! If you have found that the 12-steps are not working for you, (even if you are financially independant/white male--her approach is intelligent and loving to everyone) read her book and you may get insite that can give you strength and hope. Thank you Charlotte. Now if only I could find a group that uses the "empowerment" model she discuss in the book...

At first I found Kasl's feminist rhetoric off-putting. However, continued reading convinced me that there is much validity in her analyses; her critiques of AA are convincing; much of what she writes, particularly regarding humility vs. affirmation, in the context of women and minorities, is equally applicable to many white males.In short, a remarkable book full of good analysis, common sense and human understanding

I spent 5 years in AA trying to "get it". After reading Charlotte's wonderful book, it became clear that the 12 steps were written by and for individuals of a specific gender, and of a specific socio economic group. (WASPy men of the 1930s) Today's 12 step climate draws individuals of vastly different backgrounds, who try to personalize the 12 steps only to find guilt, shame and disempowerment. (the opposite of what they need!) Such a result might be an appropriate "balancing out" goal for sociopathic grandiose indivdiuals who lack a sense of guilt or shame when hurting people, however it can have disastrous results for those who feel guilt & shame easily! Charlotte's book is a must-read for anyone (especially women & minorities!!!) who wishes to join a 12 step group. Thank you Charlotte for your insight. I am now offering your book on my website. Hopefully others will find it in time and get off the 12 step stairmaster and find a more empowering and uplifting path.