Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

Your mate is not hitting you and they are not verbally abusing you so how can this be an abusive relationship you are thinking? . Yet you are either angry or crying all the time? Do you feel your own sanity slipping away? Are there constant "miscommunications" between you and your partner? Does your relationship history keep changing? When your partner does something nice for you does it have an underlying feeling of contempt to it and you can't figure out why? Does this person keep telling you they love you but promises are rarely if ever kept? .Do you feel they have compartmentalized their life and you are not allowed in certain areas. Do you feel like an intruder in their home when you visit? It is irrational to think something is wrong. Your mate would have to be crazy to be in a relationship with you if they don't want to be with you.. If they don't want the relationship why are they spending hours upon hours going through relationship talks and counseling to keep the relationship going? Of course they want it to be successful... or do they? Are you asking yourself these questions? Then this book is a MUST READ. Welcome to the world of Narcissism. You want the reason why? Read the book. But be prepared my friend Mr. Vaknin pulls no punches. He tells it like it is. If you are involved with a narcissist you will unravel your entire relationship by reading this book. You will also be forced to face the ugly truth about the relationship and yourself and why you were in this relationship. This book will save your sanity and empower you to have healthier relationships. Mr. Vaknin's insight into Narcissism is incredible. My couselor advised me the insight I have given her into Narcissism and what has happened to me as a victim has given her a whole new perspective into this mental illness. I couldn't have done that without reading this book. Because Mr.Vaknin was able to help me understand more about Narcissism and what was actually happening during my relationship My counselor will now be able to help her clients more. She is recommending this book to other clients. This book changed my life and forced me to recognize the healing I had to do in order to have a healthier happier life. It gave me the courage to trust again because I now know my intuition is correct and I don't deceive myself anymore. There are people out there that are just mentally ill no matter how normal they seem. This book helps you to understand that and it brings closure to your mourning of the narcissist. Finally it enables you to let go of that person that doesn't exist. It also does a great job defining abuse. So many people think abuse has to be physical or verbal. Emotional abuse is deadly and that is what a Narcissist uses. A Narcissist is a predator and a very good predator that is all they do. They don't build lives they destroy them by emotionally exploiting people for affirmation. When they suck their victims emotional

This book could save your sanity, bring you some degree of peace with your past, or possibly prevent you or the ones you love from making a very bad mistake in the future. This book is not a thin, superficial "pop psyche" book, and cannot be compared to anything else that has been written about narcissism or any other personality disorder. Every day we read books and see television shows and movies about serial killers, but what we really need to fear in everyday life are people with personality disorders. The narcissist will seduce you, then abuse you and rob you blind while charming everyone around you. Everyone will love him, and he will convince even your friends and family that it is you who have gone crazy. If you have crossed paths with a "pathological liar", "gigalo" or "con man", he was, without doubt, a narcissist. Hardly anyone knows much about narcisisstic personality disorder until they go through the living hell of a relationship with a narcissist, and has to do research to find out what the heck happened to them. This book will explain everything you have gone through, and hopefully convince you not to try to remain in the relationship.

Did you ever experience a relationship where you knew something just wasn't right but you couldn't put your finger on it? One where you knew what you were going through wasn't normal but you were being told constantly it was. Did you ever have a partner who is incapable of showing real emotion unless of course, it's about him? What about the end of a relationship? Were you ever just "unplugged" so that he could "plug" the new one right into your slot as if you never existed? Do you find yourself slowly disappearing, your interests and talents pushed aside in favor of trying to meet his needs? Do your successes bring out the worst in him? Dr. Vaknin gives an in-depth look into the mind of a narcissist. It doesn't matter that it's his own mind he is opening up for viewing. He makes it painfully clear how much alike all narcissists are though they live their lives thinking they're unique. Through the pages of "Malignant Self Love," you will come to know your narcissist intimately, in a way he would never allow on his own. You'll learn why he's the way he is but what is most important, you'll learn why he won't ever change. You'll learn that he recreates reality so that talking to him, seeking closure becomes impossible. You never existed so what is there to talk about? You could have been together two years or 20 and it doesn't make a difference to this personality disordered, soul-less creature. The most terrifying thing to learn is how completely normal they look and act, at first. It's easy to fall into their trap and getting out is nearly impossible. A narcissist can't love but he's a great actor. He knows how to suck you in, to pretend to be everything you were looking for. Once he has you, watch out because that's the end of your ride. He is capable of devaluing and discarding you without ever looking back. A narcissist looks at his ex the way you would look at an old pair of sneakers...totally used up and ready for the trash. It can be hurtful to know how he talks about you to others, calls you names and labels you in the most horrible way until you read Dr. Vaknin's work. There you will learn how almost every narcissist does the same thing as if they had a manual to go by. You find a slight sense of peace to see how 'every' narcissist's ex is crazy, psycho, a lunatic in their eyes. If you're the ex, it is very validating and healing. I think this book should be on everyone's list. The knowledge you will gleam from the pages could very well save your life.

First of all, let me say that I am a bright, well educated (doctorate) woman of some age. After twenty years of living with a Narcissist (although I did not know this syndrome actually had a diagnostic name), being controlled, manipulated, lied to, deceived, cuckolded and gaslighted, I felt quite confident that 1) something was wrong and it had to be me, since he told me that constantly (WRONG), 2) i couldn't put a finger on it, but nothing ever made sense - i could not validate the experiences in this relationship by comparing it to my family - friends - other experiences with men and 3) no one could ever understand because it was such a bizarre situation. Let me tell you this, and let it be a ray of hope for all of you interested in this book. Vaknin explains this disorder so very well, and he explains the ramifications of living with it and the repercussions, that you will put this book down and scream, "EUREKA! I FOUND IT!" Any reviews that slam this book have either their basis in not having lived or dealt with someone with NPD or they are one themselves and are in denial and can't stand for someone to NAIL IT ON THE HEAD. Read the book. And then run for your life and never look back. Ever. Empowering. Engaging. The absolute truth. From someone who should know - Vaknin. Sam, if your disorder was good for only one thing, it was this - to enable you to write this book for the empowerment of those who have been destroyed by narcissists. And before I end this, lest you think I am a pessimist - I have great friends (many over a whole life, many over the last twenty years, I have wonderful children who love me, I have a good career, a nice home and a lot of other attributes. I travel, have fun, cook, do theater. I was able to rise above the criticism, control, and downspiral that an NPD can do to you. You readers can too. And just knowing that someone could explain it so well is the most amazing thing ever. Thank you Vaknin (just what you wanted to hear, wasn't it Sam?). But thank you anyway.

It isn't that often that you know someone who is totally self-consumed and unaware of the needs of others. This person may present himself as a helpful, caring friend, who is overzealous about giving assistance, but subtly manipulates others into thinking he cares. In The Malignant Narcissist, Mr.Vaknin provides the reader a thorough and honest discussion about narcissism, clarifying why most narcissistic relationships don't work. I read this book on a personal level because of my own experience with a narcissistic individual. He was charming, drawing me in, and knew how to compliment and manipulate me. I soon became aware of his personality and felt his control. Mr.Vaknin's book helped me pinpoint the clues that indicated his narcissistic personality. When I first began researching narcissism, I found that many of my questions were still unanswered. I wanted to know the causes of narcissism, how to deal with a narcissistic person, and the prognosis. Sam Vaknin's book, Malignant Love, not only answered my questions, but also provided me with valuable information that I couldn't find elsewhere. His approach is unique because he is a narcissist, and participates in a thorough examination of himself, confronting his own narcissism, enlightening the reader about the causes and ramifications of narcissism. Sam Vaknin's book is a must read for psychologists, social workers, and all individuals who want to learn how to deal with the narcissists in their lives. The information presented in this book is the most exhaustive resource on the subject of narcissism that I have encountered in my research. If you read The Malignant Narcissist, you will need to go no further in your pursuit of information regarding narcissism.