Lying Awake

Mark Salzman's LYING AWAKE is the story of one woman's test of faith. She is Sister John of the Cross, a Carmelite nun living in a monastery surrounded by the hubbub that is Los Angeles. She has given most of her life to the service of God, and she has been gifted with wonderful, ecstatic visions. Words have poured out of her into her journals -- her poetry has inspired seekers within and without the Order. Now in middle age, she suddenly discovers that the headaches that have accompanied these visions could threaten her life -- and, more devastating than this, they could be indications that her visions are nothing but hallucinations brought on by a medical condition. Her choice is plain but difficult -- if she agrees to the surgery that could correct this condition and possibly save her life, she risks losing the one aspect of her religious life that she has seen as a validation of her Vocation. Not an easy choice.Salzman's prose is as spare and delicate as any I have read -- and yet it conveys so very much. Life for the cloistered Sisters is revealed to the reader without romanticizing -- in all of its simplicity, hardship and beauty. His descriptions of the nuns' cells, the chapel, the monastery garden all shine with a gentle but firm light -- they all seem so present and real. The emotions that pass through Sister John are just as real -- this journey she is taking is one of the soul, and it is not an easy one. Her journal entries are so spiritually evocative --'an invisible suna shock wave of pure Beingswept my pain away, swept everything awayuntil all that was left was God.God awakening.'In another entry, she describes the dissolution of the Self to the Eternal Will:'You were here all along.I pierce the universe.God pierces me.I do not think; I am thought.I do not know; I am known.'The luminous journal entries attributed to Sister John are alone worth the read -- but there is so much more to be garnered from this marvelous work. The quotation at the very top, another from her journal, is so true for all of us -- particularly in light of recent terrible events. Her journey -- and its resolution -- can inspire us when we need it the most.This is a book of incredible insight and feeling -- remarkable for its beauty (and frugality) of language. I know that I will find myself returning to it again and again throughout my life. I'm glad it's coming out in paperback -- I can see myself giving a few copies as gifts, and the hardcovers would break me!

Salzman's wonderful novel will haunt you. In sparse, cloister-empty language, he tells the story of Carmelite Sister John of the Cross, a woman whose long hunger for God has finally been filled by three years worth of profoundly changing mystical experiences. One day she's forced to ask herself if the ecstatic episodes for which she yearns are what she ought to be seeking--whether, in short, the great spiritual hunger that's like a "hole in the center of her being" (p. 115) should be stuffed with comforting content or embraced for the resplendent absence it is.It's significant that Salzman's heroine takes the religious name of "John of the Cross," the great Carmelite mystic who writes of the "nada" of God. Her crisis is John's dark night of the soul, and it also faces all of us who search for God. Sister John's final discovery about the soul's hunger for the Divine is one that may surprise you. But in Salzman's artful hands, it rings absolutely true.Five stars isn't enough for this book. Nothing short of a National Book Award can do it justice.

I heard Mr. Salzman on NPR talking about this book one day last week on my drive in to work. I thought to myself, "A disease with the side effect of ecstatic visions then prolific writing? Surely this can't be true?!" As soon as I got up on Saturday morning, I headed to the library to see if they had this book in. As luck would have it, there it sat on the new book shelf right inside the front door. I read this book straight through in one sitting just like Anne Lamott did which she relates in her blurb on the back cover. I also plan to read it again today, much more slowly and contemplatively. What blew me away was the spiritual depth of the book, the slow, painful dawning of enlightenment (much like watching a magnificent sunrise that takes the silent landscape from total blackness to a sparkling kaleidoscope of color and birdsong), that Sister John experiences. The clincher for me was that I heard the author relate that he is not a spiritual person. Well, Mr. Salzman, whether you know it or not, you ARE a spiritual being (as we all are) and God has used you to pour another little pitcherful of light into this dark, thirsty world. And I thank you!

Hesitate no longer! If you are reading these reviews and thinking to yourself, `hmmmm should I or shouldn't I?' then wait no longer. Get your hands on this book. No further research is necessary! Salzman's opus surpasses his other books, including The Soloist, by leaps and bounds. A rare treasure that too few will read and even fewer will try to comprehend. Forget the subject matter. Forget any guilt or fear you might have about religion. Forget your stereotypical images of nuns and monasteries. This book, with its complexity/simplicity of a Chinese poem, shines like the brightest star in the night's sky. Everything from the title to the length is perfect. If you, the web-surfing reader, and I, some silly guy, were somehow friends, and I could recommend only one new book for you then I would whisper these words, "Do not be afraid, have faith that I wouldn't lie, and read this book."

I read this book in one sitting, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. It is perfect, amazing, hard to believe it's only 192 pages. Like Kazuo Ishiguro's "Remains of the Day," this novel finds suspense and emotional drama in the smallest details, and it is just as beautifully written. The life in this Carmelite monastery, where speech is almost completely forbidden, comes to life with such full, tactile detail. Most importantly, Salzman manages to write about a crisis of faith without becoming touchy-feely or vague. He goes right to the heart of the matter -- to the heart of this character -- and writes about her dilemma in a way that makes it universal, whether you're religious or not: the search for grace. I was incredibly moved. Salzman continues to amaze with his range. This is his most transcendent work.