Love's Executioner: & Other Tales of Psychotherapy

In "Love's Executioner," Yalom shares fascinating and true stories from his psychotherapeutic relationships. He tells us that changes were made to protect the identities of his patients, but that he utilizes "symbolically equivalent substitutes," and he admits to fudging some of the dialogue, which is probably little different than anyone's post hoc process notes. Yalom is a great therapist, a solid teacher, a good story-teller, and a good enough writer to make these tales well worth reading. These stories are probably entertaining enough on their own to be read by any audience, but they have immeasurable value for budding therapists. In Yalom's semi-fictionalized narratives, as in his more academic writing, he endorses a fluid, non-dogmatic approach to therapy. I enjoyed his comments on traditional psychoanalysts, who "seem more certain of everything than I am of anything," an attitude which Yalom claims serves to comfort the therapist but does nothing to help the patient: "Though there is something reassuring about an omniscient therapist who is always in control of every situation, there can be something powerfully engaging about a fumbling therapist, a therapist willing to flounder with the patient until they, together, stumble upon an enabling discovery." As something of a nascent flounder myself, I find this reassuring. If I had to complain, and it's being petty, but I wish the title and cover illustration didn't make it look like I'm reading a second class romance novel. I know I shouldn't care what a train full of surly strangers thinks about my reading, but I do catch myself feeling a little self-conscious about it, especially because I catch myself jumping to conclusions about other people based on what they are reading. Especially here in Boston, when I see a person purposefully choose the Boston Herald over the Boston Globe, I know it can only mean one of two things, and they are both reprehensible. And the titles of the individual stories in this collection all make sense in the context of the therapeutic tales, but might be alarming to the other sardines reading over my shoulder on the rush hour greenline carriage. I know these are small-minded objections, but, what can I say?

This book was written by a man of great courage. He has openly and honestly exposed all of his personal and professional weaknesses. As a therapist myself, it was refreshing to read an honest representation of what actually occurs in therapy rather than a self-serving and white-washed version of what happened. The strength of this book is in Yalom's ability to express the intricacies of the therapeutic process, the stages that each therapeutic relationship can go through, and its impact on both therapist and client. Another strength, is Yalom's willingness to openly expose his own therapeutic failures. I have learnt a great deal from him about what actually works in therapy. I have also re-learnt the value of not inflicting one's own biases on one's own clients. This problem can be solved by either resolving one's own issues, or referring the client to someone else who may better suit the client's needs. Yalom openly confronted what occurs when a therapist persists with a client, when they are unable to create an effective therapeutic relationship. No-one is perfect, not even the great Yalom. In exposing his own weaknesses, Yalom risks being misunderstood or even ridiculed. However, by taking this risk, Yalom offers the reader the opportunity to thoroughly examine the therapeutic process itself, what works and what fails for therapists and clients alike. It was a great read, I couldn't put it down!

This book should be required reading for anybody either undergoing psychotherapy or providing it. Irvin Yalom uses his experience with ten clients to illustrate how people change in therapy. Sometimes the change comes out of brilliant insights, sometimes it comes from the therapist's mistakes. Either way, Yalom's integrity in relating these vignettes helps the reader understand the process better.If you're not in therapy, perhaps this book will help you understand yourself and your internal processes a bit better. Which of Yalom's patients do you identify with? Which to you totally reject? Either of those patients, and Yalom's treatment of them, has something to teach you.If you are in therapy, notice how Yalom treats his patients, how he thinks about them. How does this compare to your relationship with your therapist? Do you experience the same challenges, the same caring, the same dynamic? Or do you just show up and whine for an hour? As a therapist, I found Yalom's work particularly brave. Who would write a book about their mistakes? Yet, from his mistakes, I find myself learning--and also better enabled to learn from my mistakes. Reading Love's Executioner helped to keep me from sitting on that God-like Throne and remember to be a human being with my clients; a fellow sufferer, an ally in the healing process. And if the idea of therapy seems not to apply to you, then you may simply find this book a fascinating story about how a thoughtful and insightful man deals with the sorrows, wounds, and needs of other human beings. These stories impart a powerful understanding of human relationships, whether you're involved in therapy or not.Five stars for candor and courage. Five stars for a sharp writing style that holds attention better than most "case studies," and five stars for choosing stories that speak to the depths of people's hearts.(If you'd like to discuss this book or review, click on the link above to drop me an email. Thanks!)

Just wanted to add that I'm sure therapists can learn more about the therapy process by reading this book, and clients can benefit not only from relating to the patients presented in the book -- but _also_, the added insight from getting a feel for the "big picture," of what the therapist is trying to do, can be very helpful to those in the recovery and healing process. One also leaves the stories with a great sense of admiration for Yalom. Yalom does a great job of verbalizing the process of counseling, with its infinite nuances.

Dr. Yalom certainly does not put himself on a pedestal. He is honest about his prejudices and shortcomings and because of that, is able to overcome them in many cases. His personal belief, "an unexamined life is not worth living" serves him, his patients, and his readers very well. Whether you are considering therapy, have been through therapy, or are simply interested in getting to know yourself a little better, this book is highly recommended.