Love Undetectable: Notes on Friendship, Sex, and Survival

Andrew Sullivan made a reputation for himself by being elevated at a very young age as a senior editor of 'The New Republic', a position he filled from 1991-1996. He continues his journalistic career by writing for 'The Times' (London) and 'New York Times Magazine', as well as contributing articles to a large number of other periodicals.At the height of his career, Sullivan made the announcement made the announcement that he was HIV-positive. In saying this, he made the assertion: `I intend to be among the first generation that survives this disease.' Sullivan has occupied a difficult position politically - tending toward conservatism that doesn't sit well with much of the homosexual community, he also tends toward political positions (such as pro-same sex marriage) that go against much of the conservative sentiment. In this first book, 'Virtually Normal', Sullivan argued for an acceptance of same-sex marriage; he followed that up by editing a collection of essays and contributions by others on the same topic.However, his latest book, 'Love Undetectable', is a very different book. Insofar as Sullivan's life is inextricably bound up with political, historical, and sociological writing through his profession, that is reflected here, but this is a very non-political book. Consisting of three essays, it is primarily reflexions on the life of a survivor, who has yet to become a successful survivor - Sullivan himself. Sullivan is bound to alienate all sides in some ways once again with this volume. He takes on both the church and religious side and the gay liberation side in his first essay: When Plagues End. 'The gay liberationists have plenty to answer for in this. For far too long, they promoted the tragic lie that no avenue of sexuality was any better or nobler than any other; that all demands for responsibility or fidelity or commitment or even healthier psychological integration were mere covers for "neoconservatism" or, worse, "self-hatred"; that even in the teeth of a viral catastrophe, saving lives was less important than saving a culture of `promiscuity as a collective way of life', when, of course, it was little more than a collective way of death.'Of course, this quotation is bound to please the fundamentalists, who would love to paint the gay community as a `collective way of death'. But Sullivan doesn't go lightly on the other side, either. Sullivan recalls a time when the AIDS quilt was in Washington, and during a service at that time, in the heart of Washington's gay community, the priest at the church began a sermon with the words, `Today, few of us know the meaning of a plague like leprosy....' Sullivan of course had words with the priest afterwards, and asked him quite bluntly if he had ever heard of AIDS. This is a very personal journal of Sullivan's, presenting his arguments in full concert with his emotions and experiences, of friends who have been public and friends who have stayed silent about their orientation and their dis

Some of the reviews express such anger. Because not all of us have as yet found a way to "be" whole and content is not a reason to bash Sullivan because he has. Yes, he seems to blatantly extend his perspective as universal, but that doesn't mean we can't learn from his perspective. No one tale describes the full story. No one journey depicts universal experience. He's honest and real, even if you disagree with his viewpoint. Stop slamming him for how he found his way and spend a bit more time finding your own, perhaps with his help.

The most striking aspect of Andrew Sullivan's latest book, "Love Undetectable," is its personal subtext. It's markedly different from his landmark book, "Virtually Normal," in that Sullivan shares with us his own life. In the first essay, "When Plagues End," he discusses his own sexual journey and how becoming HIV-positive reshaped his life. But not only that--Sullivan captures the feelings, moments and memories associated with his romances, spirituality and struggle for identity. It's a keyhole to a side of Sullivan we have never really seen, and it makes his writing more real and persuasive than ever."Virtually Abnormal," his second essay, is not as personal, but thoughtfully and persuasively articulated. Here he delves into the most current media debate about gays--the origins of homosexuality and whether it can be changed through psychotherapy. Sullivan presents several theories and arguments, from both sides of the fence (here his writing style does resemble "Virtually Normal"). No matter where he turns, from the "genetic" to the "environmental" theory, we see that each position holds a piece of the truth, and there are no hard answers. Sullivan concludes that even though homosexuality is neither strictly "normal" or "abnormal," we should pay attention to society's reaction toward it, since "its treatment is a critical indicator of the endurance of...liberty in a free society."Friendship is the topic of "If Love Were All," in which Sullivan challenges us to reconsider and even resurrect the value of friendship. Gay friendships can be a model for straights, he says, since gay men are particularly good at forming lifelong bonds with each other. Sullivan argues that popular culture's notion of love has turned out to be "the great modern enemy of friendship," and we ought not discount the gift of true friendship--where candor and camaraderie are perhaps even more prevalent than in romantic relationships.Finally, we glimpse into his personal world again, as Sullivan remembers his best friend's death. Sullivan admits that Love Undetectable is "a very Christian book," but not in the sense of fanatical fundamentalism or evangelistic Christianity. He fuses his discussions of spirituality with humanity, reminding us in a powerful way that we participate in our own destinies. By the end of the book, we craved a fourth essay, perhaps tying the piece together (as he did in Virtually Normal's "What are Homosexuals For?") But he left us with the haunting images of death, life, and friendship, and we're left to wrestle with the meaning of all three.

The best reveiw I have read of Sullivan's book appeared this week in the Washington Post. I have heard Sullivan read from Love twice, and he makes the point that straight female reviewers concentrate more on the substance of the book and are more appreciative than many other readers. If you can locate that review, you may wish to read it. And there is much in his new book to appreciate. The three essays are pieces that recall the best of 19th century essay writing. And Love is also a religious confession, a love story, a prose elegy, and more. Sullivan is best as an essayist, though his personal recollections are as powerfully drawn as many novelists'. One of the highest compliments that can be paid Love was also true of Virtually Normal; even Sullivan's detractors are going to buy the book and devour it. Regardless of which side of the polical spectrum one is on, the strength of Sullivan's writing makes him required reading.

In his book "Love Undetectable" gay political columnist Andrew Sullivan shares the pain he felt upon the death from AIDS of a close friend. The friendship was cemented when the two told each other that they were HIV positive. Sullivan weaves this story and confessions of his traumas, loves, sex life, faith and philosophies through the three essays in the book. He adds his observations of the gay world and illumines the experiences with the ideas of great thinkers from ancient and modern times. The first essay, entitled "When Plagues End", contains a slightly less optimistic version of an article Sullivan published in 1996 in the New York Times magazine. After depicting the horror of illness and death from AIDS, Sullivan describes the release from impending doom provided by the new anti-viral drugs. He draws on Camus for inspiration. In the second essay, Sullivan turns to the psychologists' views of homosexuality. He does this in response to the recent vocal claims by reparative therapists and "ex-gays". By exploring this issue, Sullivan ventures into the no-man's land between those who want to abolish homosexuality by curing it and those who won't tolerate any mention of pathology in connection with being gay. Although Sullivan seeks a "teleology of homosexuality, to answer the question, `What are homosexuals for?' ", he devotes the essay to presentation of theories of its origin and causes. He concisely summarizes Freud's ideas and those of recent psychotherapists. Sullivan follows Freud's example by not proposing an explanation for the causes of homosexuality. He challenges the gay reader to use the presentation of various theories to spur self-examination. The third essay deals with the definition of friendship, a relationship whose significance, Sullivan argues, has been lost in modern times. Sullivan brings to us the categories of philia from Aristotle and the pensees of Montaigne, Augustine and Cicero. He describes the tenderness in the friendships between Jesus and his followers. To Sullivan, the modern preoccupation with eros is the greatest threat to friendship. Friends, he opines, give each other breathing room, which lovers do not. Through forging friendships in the face of societal opprobrium and suffering from AIDS, gays present a lesson to society. It is in these friendships, Sullivan proposes, that the gays today can acquire a worthy purpose. Andrew Sullivan is impelled by his emotional pain and his desire for healthier public and institutional policies towards gays and lesbians. He disciplines his motivation and stays within the boundaries of his arguments. His Waughian prose is poetic; powerful yet restrained. In "Love Undetectable" he has created a precious account of his recent life and thoughts.