Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community

Marin, Andrew. "Love is an Orientation" Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community", IVP Books, 2009. Building a Bridge Amos Lassen I find it interesting that people are so divided over homosexuality when there are so many other issues that are much more serious. The evangelical church has three options when it considers homosexuality--silence, loudness and loving the sinner but hating the sin which is a sham. Andrew Marin calls for a dialogue and love. He wants all of us to sit down and talk. Marin, himself, felt compelled to get involved in the issue when his three best friends came out to him in three consecutive months and he wanted to reconcile his friends to his faith. He and his wife moved to Boystown, a predominantly GLBT neighborhood in Chicago to better understand and as a result of what he learned, he wrote this book. He looks at the conversation between Christianity and the GLBT community and questions why so many who are Christians are afraid of the gay community. He questions if Christians need to change. This is a book that brings about conversation about spirituality and sexuality and how to build bridges. Marin, himself, was "a self-described homophobic, straight, Bible-believing, conservative Christian alpha-male" whose world was changed by his friends' coming-out. He decided to become "the gayest straight dude in America" when he moved and totally immersed himself in the gay and lesbian community. He has founded the Marin Foundation whose purpose is to build a bridge between the broader GLBT communities and conservative Christian communities which is "quickly becoming a leading national organization of the Christian and mainstream cultures regarding religion and homosexuality". Marin's book gives a wonderful overview of the necessity for this bridge to be built and he does not write theory but from his own experience. He says that there are four important things that Christians can do---love, listen, not to judge, and seek friendship and conversation. This sounds so easy but if there things were actually done, what a better world this would be. As a Jew, I am not directly connected to the issues here as I am completely out at my temple and read from the Torah regularly. I am observant to every aspect of my religion but I must practice my religion as a reform Jew and not as an Orthodox one as I was raised. This is because Orthodoxy has no place for me and if it did, I probably would not take it because of their past views on homosexuality. I see the same problems here that I see with Christianity. Perhaps I should follow some of Marin's views here and I would if I were not satisfied. At least I have that option that many Christians do not have. This is simply a wonderful book and needs to be read by every member of the clergy as well as the laity. It is awareness that we need and in the GLBT community it is awareness and acceptance that we want. Conversation is the key and once that comes about, acceptance and eq

first of all let me say that i'm a muslim, and a happy one at that. i truly connected with, however, the spiritual love that is present in andrew marin's message. i think the reason i can feel so connected to this christian message is that i have met many gay christians or former christians who felt so spiritually alienated by other christians. and here is a straight man working in the gay community to bring love. talk about being a pioneer. and his message is not a blind love for the gay community, either. i love that andrew marin is able to bring a balanced, real, straight (no pun intended) message full of love to people on both sides on this issue. he covers a lot of particular issues in his book. he deals with the subject of coming out. he talks about the political, stigma, and the shame glbt people experience in the culture. he talks about the fact that we are all seeking validation, all of us - queer or straight. and then he launches his program of how to reach the community, how christians can bring the love back-- so to speak. can you feel the love?

In a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual (GLBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what GLBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them. Furthermore, the GLBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love. Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way. In his book, Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the GLBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others. Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the GLBT community as the "gayest straight person in the world." The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the GLBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don't judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying "Love the sinner; hate the sin" and referring to those in the GLBT community as "homosexuals." Both, he explains, are derogatory. One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are: 1. Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way? 2. Do you think homosexuality is a sin? 3. Can a GLBT person change? 4. Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian? 5. Are GLBT people going to hell? I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don't have room to reproduce the answers here...so I guess you'll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.

Andrew Marin has done a fantastic job of providing the Christian community with a better jumping board into conversation with and interaction with the GLBT community. Most Christians I know aren't uncompassionate toward the GLBT community, but they have no idea how to relate to them without feeling like they're compromising their own beliefs. Andrew provides his own testimony of following Jesus' example of incarnational relationship and ministry to those who are different from us, oppressed by society, and often condemned by the church at large. The book will scare you and encourage you. Something has to change in the Christian-GLBT dynamic, and Andrew has provided a path to a better, and I believe more Christ-like, way to engage.

I can't put this book down! Andrew blends wisdom, experience and the Biblical message of truth to teach people how to love those who are different from the reader. He explains how to bridge the gap that will create open dialogue and possibly build relationships. I can now envision a day when hate doesn't divide the GLBT community from anyone; including Christians.