Love Dharma

When I needed it most this little book jumped off the shelf and fell at my feet (no, really)and it pulled me back from the brink of despair more than once. I have purchased over 10 of them and given them to friends and loved ones. If you have ever had a partner in love, you will learn from, enjoy and cherish this book. A guide for every kind of circumstance .... good ones, misunderstood ones, awful ones ... she writes such in practical, loving way to explain, describe and sooth the tortured lover. I cannot recommend this book enough.

While I will agree that this book was a bit "fluffier" than Larkin's others, I had a lot of "A-ha!" moments while reading it. She provides sound insight from a Buddhist perspective in dealing with common relationship emotions: rage, jealously, the desire to have an affair, and loneliness. A very good read.

As Geri Larkin's book illustrates, relationship issues are nothing new, and the ancient teachings of the Buddha are rich in wisdom on matters of the heart. Larkin is the author of several spiritual memoirs (FIRST YOU SHAVE YOUR HEAD) and a Zen teacher at the Still Point Buddhist Temple in Detroit. LOVE DHARMA is a relationship guide offering "relationship wisdom from enlightened Buddhist women" who, until now, have been largely unknown outside Buddhist academic circles (p. 5). As such, this is not so much a self-help book, as a collection of Theravadan stories of love, loss, and personal transformation offering us guidance on relationship issues such as "relationship rage" (pp. 53-78), jealousy (pp. 79-101), "the pull of an affair" (pp. 103-127), competition (pp. 129-151), surviving the loss of a lover to death or infidelity (pp. 153-180), the "gift of bone-deep loneliness" (pp. 181-199), and being alone (pp. 201-215). In returning again and again to the Buddha's four noble truths--that life brings with it suffering, that we suffer because we are always wanting something more, that there is a path out of suffering, and that path consists of deep morality mixed with attention to our lives (p. 4)--the simple, "Golden-Rule" teaching of Larkin's LOVE DHARMA is to "treat others as you would like to be treated" (p. 34).G. Merritt

This is an excellent Buddhist companion to Cheri Huber's BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO FIND for its wisdom on navigating relationships (or recovering from a tough one), sexuality, and being alone. Besides sound observations and two cents' worth of advice here and there, with a lot of valuable personal material, Larkin is providing another gift to western practitioners of Buddhism by bringing out old Buddhist stories about female practitioners. Where there is a real need for female models, Larkin has done her research (as well as her practice) and provided some wonderful material showcasing lesser-known Buddhist women in a tradition that has been decidedly male-centered. The two projects blend together into a distinctive and rich book. Very well done.

That these women attained the levels of wisdom they attained is astonishing enough. That they did so in societies that tended to discourage spiritual practice for women, if not outright saying, "Women aren't fit to do this," is almost inconceivable. In the final analysis, of course, gender isn't the point, for what do wisdom and compassion know of gender? As a man, I place my head at the feet of these women.LOVE DHARMA is a true gift. In it, Larkin displays a knack for bridging what normally seems a 2,500 year gap, making these womens' stories our own. The modern stories she adds to them are useful, resulting in what amounts to the best book I've read on romantic relationship, completely lacking the sort of smug, self-satisfied, ultimately useless, advice-of-the-month one often finds in such work. I've read every book of Larkin's since STUMBLING. In every case, she seems willing to lay bare her own difficulties in her efforts to help others. It seems her own sincerity is worthy of these remarkable women, and I can't recommend LOVE DHARMA highly enough.