Logical Lexicon of Useless English

In his review, avuncular artist Tony Gleeson was displaying his characteristic understatement and vastity. Surely this book should not be titivated to Tropic of Cancer or War and Peace -- neither of which even attempts to define "warstle," let alone to illustrate this term. Hailed as a sapid and radicular achievement upon its publication 20 years ago, The Logical Lexicon of Useless English has, if possible, only opalesced with age, becoming ever more quadrivial as time passes, and particularly accumbent to these peptic times in which we live. If you are a fastuous foreigner, trying to navigate the ofttimes complex and hexane cotillions of the English language, I cannot recommend this volume too strongly.

Author Bill Wood tells you that I have my "own reasons" for wanting to see you scoop up the few remaining copies of this, the best book he and I ever collaborated upon. Quite simply, take it from me, this is the BEST book you have never heard of and don't own! This is BETTER than "War and Peace" and you can get through it much faster! It's DIRTIER than "Tropic of Cancer" if you use your imagination, FUNNIER than Mel Brooks, DEEPER than Thomas Pynchon, and MORE CYNICAL than the complete works of H.L. Mencken! Plus not only is the wordsmithing marvelous but the drawings are just heart-warming! And it is a rare opportunity to see the EARLY WORK of two creative masters from way back in the Twentieth Century! And believe me, I am in no way swayed by the fact that I helped put this marvelous tome together. I would have loved it even if I didn't work on it! Besides, Bill has been reduced to selling pencils on his remote Northwestern island and needs your support.......