Living When a Loved One Has Died: Revised Edition

I bought this book sight unseen, simply because I think he's a terrific author on death. He speaks the language of the commoner regarding death. I was shocked to find the entire book is written as a series of poems. Originally it threw me off, but as I read the book I was better able to appreciate the impact of using that format for these words. I originally purchased the book for a close friend who was about to observe the 1st anniversary of her sister's death. I hadn't realized how much her sister's death affected me until I read this book and couldn't give it to my friend. I had to buy another copy just for her. The poems said exactly what I had been feeling through all my grieving stages but hadn't found words to express them. It was a godsend.

My husband Jim died at the age of 50. We had been together since 1972, 27 years, and had grown up together. Jim was a Vietnam veteran and suffered from the effects of Agent Orange that over the years manifested itself in many ways. His tired body finally gave up after many years of suffering. But he fought it with everything he had - and survived many years beyond what the doctors told him he would live. But in the end, he knew it was time to go and he did it with dignity. A friend gave me this book and at first I could not read it, then slowly I would open it and read a little, and then a little more. I can't tell you how many times I have read it now. It is reality, simple and to the point. It is easy to read and it is me, it is scary how much it is me. And now I have a friend who just lost her husband and I am sending it to her so that she can read it and hopefully get the comfort and understanding that only we can know.

My mother died unexpectedly two months ago after fracturing her hip. I was her sole caregiver (she had moderate stage Alzheimer's) and even though I was preparing myself for her first being in a nursing home and ultimately her death years down the road, this sudden passing away left me totally empty and void. I didn't know what to feel except that I had let her down somehow. I had always promised her I would take care of her and not let anything bad happen to her. I found myself emotionless with regard to anything except grief. Then I found this book two weeks ago, took it home and read it. This book touches upon every emotion you go through when you grieve. It is not written as a self-help book. It does not tell you what some professionals think you should be doing to continue living in spite of your loss. It is simple. The sentences are short. It tells you that it is alright to feel the way you do. I have kept my book on my coffee table ever since and have picked it up twice already when I was feeling low. I will definitely be giving this book as a gift to friends as the occasion warrants.

I never experienced the death of someone close to me until my brother died. This book seemed to put into beautiful and comforting words all the feelings I couldn't verbalize. It made me feel normal and not as though i was losing my mind with grief. I recommend it to ANYONE surviving through grief.