Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers

As a pastor who does extensive pre-marital and marriage counseling this book has been a huge help. I frequently recommend it to parents who have children that cohabit. Our church is introducing the book to high school and college age students to help them develop a biblical worldview of marriage. The McManus' bring a lot of solid research to one place. I still pull research out of various sources that study marriage, but this book is more than just dry research data - it offers insight and help. I especially appreciate their emphasis on developing marriage mentors to help couples discover how they can have healthy, authentic relationships.

I bought this book because my mom is cohabiting. While it targets parents who's children are cohabiting more, I still found it to have plenty of current, useful statistics. The book used statistical, logical, and scriptural arguments, balancing the three very well. It was an easy read, and I'd recommend it to anyone who is considering cohabiting or knows someone who is.

Living Together Myths, Risks & Answers by Mike and Harriet McManus (Howard Books, 2008, 234 pages) is not a book for people who ignore the facts and blindly accept popular beliefs concerning cohabitation. Rather, the book is written for discerning couples (and their parents, clergy, and friends) who truly trust and respect each other and seek a healthy, rewarding, long-term marriage. Cohabitation, as defined by Webster's, is "to live together as husband and wife usually without legal or religious sanction." Forty years ago it was known as "shacking up" or "living in sin" but today the politically correct terms are "living together" or "trial marriage." Mike and Harriet McManus, co-founders of the Marriage Savers® organization (trained our marriage mentor couples -- Aug 2008 Good News) use large amounts of study data, in addition to their own experiences in working with engaged couples, to demonstrate convincingly that no single choice is more destructive to the long-term prospects of establishing a lasting relationship than cohabitation. They take a fundamental position that one can not practice permanence, and unless a marriage is established as permanent, a couple will not approach it the same way. This book is a wake-up call on the extent of the problem of cohabitation -- with encouraging, proven answers. It convincingly demonstrates that cohabitation increases rather than decreases the likelihood of divorce. The book notes that people cohabit for a variety of reasons, but the result is generally the same, regardless of the motivation: a failed relationship, whether marriage resulted or not. The book details the risks and dangers of cohabitation and its disproportionate impact on women and children. The Extent of the Problem * The number of never-married Americans soared from 21 million in 1970 to 60 million in 2006 (largely because women are agreeing to live in unwed relationships with men) * Of cohabiting couples, 41 percent have children living with them * At any given time, 5.4 million couples are living together (cohabiting.org among the many surveys and research cited) Just the Facts * Eight out of ten cohabiting relationships will fail before or after the wedding * Half of cohabiting relationships end within fifteen months - without a wedding * Couples who marry after living together are fifty percent more likely to divorce than those who remain apart before the wedding - the longer one cohabits, the greater the danger of a future divorce * Cohabiting couples who marry face much greater odds of divorce - 67 percent as opposed to the usual 45 percent for first marriages * There is more infidelity in cohabiting relationships than among married couples * Children of cohabiting couples are more likely to experience emotional problems, alcoholism and drug abuse The book examines twelve key myths about cohabitation and refutes each. It lists the top ten reasons why men won't commit and identifies seven less-recognized unde

Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers The authors take on and dismantle many of the current popular beliefs surrounding the idea that co-habitation is "no big deal". Using large amounts of study data, in addition to their own experiences in working with engaged couples, the authors demonstrate convincingly that no single choice is more destructive to the long-term prospects of establishing a lasting relationship.

The book, Living Together Myths, Risks & Answers by Mike and Harriet McManus is a great tool for pastors, parents, and those concerned about cohabitation. Mike and Harriet have decades of experience in working to strengthen marriage. They have tirelessly traveled to hundreds of communities to establish Community Marriage Policies, in which clergy, have pledged to offer more thorough marriage preparation. This has actually reduced divorce rates by an average of 17.5% and cohabitation rates by one-third! In my city of Evansville, IN more than 100 churches adopted reforms that resulted in the divorce rate down by 20% and marriage rate risen by 16%. This book gives wonderful information to support the cause of traditional marriage. Our culture today has accepted cohabitation to the detriment of society. Couples who live together before marriage are at a very high risk of divorce. This book will give you the facts and figures. Mike and Harriet cite research to back up their statements. This is a great book to give to those whao are cohabiting. It will open their eyes to the reality of their situation. Many women believe that living together will lead to marriage but according to this book, men usually choose to live with a woman for convenience. There are interesting stories woven througout the book to keep your interest. I recommend Living Together Myths, Risks & Answers to everyone who cares about the future of our families and the stability of our country.