Listening to Midlife: Turning Your Crisis into a Quest

I read these reviews, but I've never written one. I feel it's necessary here, however. If, like me, you are looking for a book about midlife changes that is intelligent and respectful, written by a man, for men then this is it. You may have already searched the internet for "midlife crisis" or looked for books about midlife. If you did, then like me, you found a lot of books for women on how to survive their man's midlife crisis. You found books for Christians in midlife. You found spiritual books about all sorts of life changes, mostly written by women. I was looking for answers, explanations and options and I wanted to hear them from a fellow man who had a)experienced these changes like me and b)done all the homework & reading for me. This book was absolutely everything I needed. Gerzon is well-read and an engaging writer, and he says in this book exactly what anyone (it's not really "for men", it's for anyone, and many of the examples he uses are women) experiencing midlife changes needs to hear: you're not alone, it's OK to be lost because our culture's a little backwards, providing no models or rituals for aging proudly or beautifully, and here are a myriad of ways you can get grounded and find your own path through the 2nd half of life. The better half of life. I just finished it tonight and went searching for more of the same, but found the same books from my first search. Maybe I'll read this one again?

I didn't read extensively on the topic, once I realized I was having a problem. But this little book stands out as the best of the lot. Easy to read and understand with lots of examples of other people's experiences. The suggestions and exercises for a "cure" worked well. Helped me get over a tough and mystifying time.

This book is a must for anyone dealing with the uncertainty of midlife! I more than related to the content and have given this book as a gift to more than one friend as they entered midlife. You will be surprised how much sense it all makes when you read this book, and you'll be ever thankful that you took this review to heart!

By midlife, many people derive their personal identities from college degrees, marriage, careers, children, and their material possessions. In our middle years, Freud says that we look for ourselves in work and love. "Inexplicable exhaustion, mysterious pain, insomnia, uncontrollable crying, profound dissatisfaction at work" are all symptoms of a midlife transition (p. 22). "Deny your body's message too long," Mark Gerzon warns, "and you may get sick. Deny your mind's warnings, and you may go crazy. Deny your soul too long, and you may lose it" (p. 36).I arrived at this book adrift at 43, with my life in transition, yearning for a greater sense of authenticity in my life. "In the second half of life," Gerzon writes, "our old compasses no longer work. The magnetic fields alter. The new compass that we need cannot be held in our hand, only in our heart. We read it not with our mind alone, but with our soul . . . Now we yearn for wholeness" (p. 5). In his insightful examination of body, marriage, work, aging, our planet, and spirituality, Gerzon reassures us that "aging has meaning" (p. 182). He encourages to adjust our thinking to view a midlife transition as a natural opportunity for personal growth, rather than as a crisis. Seen this way, the "private, lonely, and often unchartered journey" (p. 107) through midlife becomes a time for "healing deep wounds, seeking our soul/mate, caring for our families, committing ourselves to a true Calling, respecting the aging process and our elders" (p. 220). It is a time, Gerzon writes, for having the "ultimate affair with the ultimate stranger: your shadow" (p. 109). Midlife is an opportunity for transformation, for facing the shadows of our personalty (p. 81), for paying attention to disillusionments (p. 109), for bringing heaven down into our daily lives (pp. 263-64), and for listening to our dreams, our "inner elders" (p. 274).This five-star book offers wisdom and clarity to any reader attempting to make sense of the journey through midlife.G. Merritt

I discovered this book early in my crisis. Three years later I still routinely consult Gerzon's wisdom. I've read volumes trying to find my through what he calls The Forest Dark, and no words have rung truer than those found in Listening to Midlife. It's a masterpiece and, for those of us with a malfunctioning compass, a light to guide us through what can be the most terrifying time of adult life. His best advice: Have the Ultimate Affair with the Ultimate Stranger - Your Shadow.Mark has been there, he knows the way through.