Listen Up: How to Improve Relationships, Reduce Stress, and Be More Productive by Using the Power of Listening

This book is very good and very well written, however, I borrowed it from the library and was shocked to find that an urban legend appears in the book. On page eleven Malcom Forbes is referred to as having passed along a story about Leland Stanford. The story went that the Stanfords visited Harvard University. Their son had died of typhoid fever at the tender at of fifteen. Because the Stanford's had lost their own child they wanted to do something for the children of California, thus they built Stanford University. The fictional part of the story is that the Stanford's approached Harvard as country bumpkin's and were rebuffed by the President of Harvard. The sad truth is that Mr. Forbes probably didn't hear the story correctly or this is a good example of the telephone game because the Stanford's were warmly received by the President of Harvard. He gave them good advice on starting a university, which they then did. This is a very sad example of the urban legend because these two esteemed professors who otherwise wrote an unblemished book made poor Malcom Forbes look foolish. Personally I like Malcom Forbes' style and personality and it would not surprise me that he might tell a whopper, not because Mr. Forbes was a liar, but instead because he strikes me as being a man with a zest for life. Just some food for thought for those of us who like urban legends - who love a good story. I think the Stanford's were admirable in their gift to the people of California and having visited Palo Alto I can personally say that their university is a monument not just to their poor son but to themselves. Such philanthropy is rare today.

This book gets 5 stars in terms of content organization. The advice is good, without too many new ideas. Nonetheless, it is useful to be reminded of the important things on the often neglected habit of listening. What is really funny is that on p. 11 you will encounter a reprint of an urban myth about Leland Stanford, which the book presents as a true story. This is a bit embarrassing for the authors, as you would think that two PhDs would research their material more carefully. Oops! It is still is a nice read...

As an executive coach, I get paid to listen. If I don't listen well, payment doesn't continue. That's why I was surprised to discover that I had (and still have) more to learn about listening well. Listen Up showed me that I'm predominantly a "people-oriented" listener when I coach and a "content-oriented" listener when I'm seeking to learn. It turns out that both styles have strengths AND weaknesses. Because my clients are so diverse, following the advice of Barker and Watson to increase the awareness and range of my listen styles has paid off. Not only are my clients more appreciative of how much more deeply I listen to them, it's also spilled over to create deeper connections with family and friends. If you care at all about building stronger relationships at work or at home, reading this book is a great step to take.

This book, overall, is an easy to read guide on listening. Its primary focus seems to be on convincing the reader why they need to listen better (and they succeed). However, when it comes to strategies on how to improve listening skills, they do not always come through. There are definitely useful nuggets of wisdom in this book, but not as many as would seem appropriate. A good complementary book is "Listening, the forgotten skill" by Burley-Allen.

Listen Up does a wonderful job in helping us to determine what our own listener preferences -- people, action, content or time -- are. . . and more importantly, it helps us to determine the preferences of others. If I can speak to you in the way in which you want to listen, it's much more likely that our communication will be mutually satisfying. I've improved one business relationship 100% by realizing that my colleague is time-oriented (and I used to speak with her in a very people-oriented way . . . this was completely ineffective and made both of us frustrated beyond belief). Effective listening can change your life.