Like Dew Your Youth: Growing Up with Your Teenager

True to Peterson's works, he invites parents to live so their inside person matches the person they are in relationship with their teen kids. Thankfully this is not a formula book; "How to be the perfect parent of perfect teenagers." It is a confident book; God's creative grace is active in teens and their middle age parents. Enjoy the ride through adolescence, everybody grows up!

What a blessing and comfort this book has been to me, a Grandparent. The wisdom of Eugene Peterson shines brightly in this little book and speaks volumes.

The oldest of Peterson's pastoral works was titled Like Dew Your Youth: Growing Up with Your Teenager (Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, c. 1976). Written by a pastor who's reared teens, for parents longing for direction, this book offers sound and (typical of Peterson) refreshing advice. First, he helps us relax with the assurance that "there are no well-adjusted adolescents. Adolescence is, by definition, maladjustment" (p. 1). Just ignore much of the nonsense which assures you these troubled waters can be stilled by some conjuring tricks dispensed by media gurus. Accept the necessary goodness of the generation gap, "a design to be preserved" (p. 41) for teens' well-being and parental sanity. Second, however much they may try us, parents should "embrace the experience offered to them by their adolescent children as a gift from God, a means of grace for themselves to mature into 'wisdom and favor with men and God'" (p. 6). Then we work not so much on our kids as on ourselves, which is considerably more do-able. By and large, Christian parents give up "meddling" with their teens, learning from Eli to "refer them to God" (p. 19). In this process, if we allow God to work in our lives, our children will benefit. After all, they rarely heed our advice, but they constantly scrutinize our character. To be honest, reliable, openly relying on God's grace, allowing Christ's imprint to seared on our souls, will help our teens more than anything else. This means we most influence our kids in the small activities of life: listening, smiling, mopping up messes. In an important section, Peterson shows how parent-child "love" changes during adolescence. A new kind of love is needed since "the old loves are no longer adequate for the new reality" (p. 55). Yet in losing the former kinds of love both parties frequently feel betrayed. The emotional need-loves of child¬hood, so marvelously satisfying to both parties, must be replaced by a parental love which "wills the fulfillment of the other" (p. 60). Children move through adolescence to adulthood, and parents must facilitate that transition. That's done by patiently, consistently doing what's best for adolescents, knowing they're liable to rebel and renounce parental pieties, to indulge in rhetorical accusations ("hypocrite" is a favor¬ite teen-toned label). Teens further need, from adults, an unwavering hopefulness regarding their future (something they frequently question). And they need help moving from the needed prohibitions of childhood into the renunciations of maturity. Designed as a study book for groups, this is one of the wisest books I've read on working with adolescents.

This is a reallt great book for parents and pastors who need to work with youths. It is balanced, graceful, and full of insights. It's one of the books I want to read again and again to make sure I do not lose sight of any of Peterson's advices.

Chapter by chapter, Peterson presents each teenage challenge to parents (10 of them), and answers them with scripture and understanding. If we cannot draw on the example of Jesus to relate to our teenagers, then what good is our faith? As Christians we are uniquely gifted to deal with life, especially teenage sons and daughters. I was impressed with the examples. I recommend this book for parents *and* for teenagers, as both should come to a better understanding of each other after reading it.