Life in the Balance: A Physician's Memoir of Life, Love, and Loss with Parkinson's Disease and Dementia

One of Boston's leading cardiologists shares the gut-wrenching experiences of his life as a relatively young patient with the devastating, ravaging losses of severe Parkinson's Disease and dementia. His description of his struggle in the face of ongoing adversity is a remarkable handbook for all of us who may one day be patients ourselves. He writes with openness and insight of how he copes with his degenerative illness and also family relations. Dr. Graboys' grace and courage call to mind John Gunther's book about his son, Death Be Not Proud.

Being a Parkinsonian myself, but without the added Lewy body dementia, I can appreciate Dr. Graboy's attempt to find a graceful way to live with his wife and children, without being too dependent on them except as his disease forces him to be. I admire his courage at telling the story, and doing it before his disease takes away that ability from him too. The book is very well written and with great honesty. I hope I can be like him when I become dependent on my wife and children in a way that really begins to affect their lives. Already, I've been the beneficiary of caring attention from both them and my friends. For my part, I am trying to remain in control as long as possible - I jog 5K every fourth day, weather permitting, and dance at all the parties where there is dancing and music (doing it well enough for people to comment). My greatest handicap is my deteriorating voice, the one thing that led me to retire from my job at the New York VA and my job as a teacher of cardiovascular pathology at NYU School of Medicine. I am just going to start voice therapy lessons. Let's hope they help me regain my voice quality, the one thing that bothers me the most. I have tried to maintain my voice so far by singing at parties - Indians do a lot of this. To my surprise, I have discovered that singing is easier to do than ordinary voice conversation. As for Dr. Graboy's book, I have only praise for it, and I wish him the best in the difficult days ahead. My advice to him: continue to be as brave and as caring as you have been so far. Your loved ones will take care of the rest.

For a person to clearly articulate what is going through their mind as they grapple with a debilitating mental dementia (and physical) condition is remarakable. This is what Dr. Tom Graboys does in this book with great clarity. I know that my family who is grappling with a very similar issue with one our parents found the book extremely helpful- and for that Dr. Graboys deserves our real gratitude. He is continuing to provide valuable medical help to patients and their families in a new way- through this book rather than the exam room. This book is so well written that I think people who don't have dementia related illness among their family or friends would still find the book compelling reading. Dr Graboys chance encounter with the Chief of Neurology in the parking lot is stunning.

Dr. Graboys pulls no punches in being real about what his life has become living with a debilitating disease. He writes not only about how this has affected him, but also the effect on his family, friends and the people that are part of his daily life. Anyone who has a loved one, be it family or friend, with a chronic disease should own and read a copy of this book - you will want to read it again. It will give you insight into the emotions and frustrations of living with a disease that currently has no cure. If this book does not touch your soul in some way, you might want to make sure you have a pulse. There is no "happy ending", but there is hope and love.