Let the Baby Drive: Navigating the Road of New Motherhood

Babies know a lot more about being babies that adults, doctors, grandmothers, how-to specialists, psychologists, and talk show hosts do. I was blessed with a first child that was born to nurse and taught me everything I needed to know about breastfeeding. He was single-mindedly determined to nurse for 20 out of every 24 hours. Everyone thought I was crazy, but it was the only thing that truly kept him happy. He nursed while I slept, nursed while I went grocery shopping, nursed while I brushed my teeth, nursed while I ate dinner - and didn't mind when I dropped spaghetti on his bald head. If he was nursing, he was content, and so was I. Lu Hanessian's book is a thought-provoking confirmation and affirmation for those of us who bucked lots of resistance in various areas of child-rearing, taking our cues from our babies, trying what seemed to make sense, and sticking with what worked, no matter what flack it caused among those peripheral to the immediate family. Babies don't manipulate their parents; they don't even know the word for such a concept. But babies know what they need. It's too bad they have to waste so much energy trying to convince some of us to just slow down and listen to them.

I think I am the first man to write a review about this book. I usually don't write reviews. I have actually not read so many books that fit in this category, but this has been a unique experience for me. I read on the way to work in the bus. I always wondered what people think of a guy who reads a book which cover is mostly pink and purple. The fact is people on the bus must think I am a little strange because they see me everyday either grinning uncontrollably, trying to suppress exhilarating laughter, or unsuccessfully hiding the fact that I am crying. Yes, guys do that. When they are parents, and read books like Let the Baby Drive, and think about their babies, what they have gone through raising them, and they feel an incredible bond with a writer because she has lived the same emotions, anguish, joys and pain. I recommend this book to every man out there who wants to know what their partner has gone through emotionally in these first years of our children's lives. I recommend this book to every man who wants to read the words that we so often are not able to find, but express so clearly and so justly the emotions that we have all felt with our beloved little boys and girls.I recommend this book to every man who wants to get a revelation. Parenting creates a melting pot of emotions and thoughts that are so hard to see through. Lu Hanessian writes with the clarity and the intelligence that helps us find the clues in our own experiences about where we really want to "drive" with our children. Like an other reviewer said, Let the Baby Drive is not a "how-to" book. It does not lecture us about what we should be doing with our children, but helps us find the answers in our own thoughts and experiences. I recommend this book to every man who is not afraid to let the tears flow when reading about the wonders of people who can bring out the best in our babies, not bring them down, fail them, let them fend for themselves. But above all, I recommend this book to every man who wants to learn. Who wants to discover a different side of the story, the side of the story that defines the essence of Mothering.

If there is one book I would recommend to mothers, it is LET THE BABY DRIVE. The title alone is SO clever: it is 1) part satire of all the how-to parenting books out there that have no bearing on your child; 2) it is partly a call to us all to think like a child and figure out what DRIVES that child in order to parent him according to his nature; and 3)it's partly a not-so-desperate plea of an incredibly gusty, smart, self-aware woman who, during the height of her raw ambivalence, nagging anxiety and self-doubt as a new mother being flooded with unsolicited advice from everyone, just says to herself: what do I really believe? And what does this baby really need from me? The result is a narrative that comes alive, and shares with the reader this intimate, soulful, laugh-out-loud story of a mother and child as they figure each other out from birth to five, and ultimately, gradually find their way "home." I can't say enough about how beautifully written this book is. Lu Hanessian writes so lyrically, with such power and rhythm, and such a rare blend of honesty, insight, and humor. I am reminded of Annie Lamott's book "Traveling Mercies" at times in the way both authors' gift of writing can take you somewhere, paint a world for you, then drop you off in an entirely different place from where you started. A brilliantly crafted book that has changed me!

I have just finished "Let the Baby Drive"", so it is fresh in my mind and heart. To say this book inspired me is an understatement. In fact, I don't recall the last time I read a book that quite literally changed the way I think about myself my children, my husband, my mother and my friends. I am a mother of four, 15, 13, 9, 7, two girls and two boys. I have read a lot of books in my life, and taught literature for a number of years. After I saw the author on CNN a few months ago, I picked up this book for a friend's daughter who is expecting her first baby in less than a month. I thought I'd skim the first few pages out of curiosity. But I couldn't put it down. I ended up dog-earing so many pages that I ended up keeping it and buying another one for my friend. Lu Hanessian is an exceptionally gifted writer. There are parts of this book that stunned me, moved me to tears, made me LAUGH out loud so hard I had to put the book down and think about what I had just read. So much of the book just pulsed with an energy and a vibrancy of spirit. I am awestruck at the author's ability to express in words such profound insights and share them with such ease, humor, tenderness, and truth. She gets to the very heart of the matter, using cleverly written stories, really interesting anecdotes, and has this unique way of letting the reader in on her struggle, then sharing in a very casual and humble way these incredible insights and lessons that make you go "Wow, I honestly never thought of it like that before..." The book is divided into Year One, Year Two, and Years Three & Four. There are seven sections within: FRONTIER, VOICES, IDENTITY, REFLECTION, RITES, HOME, and WORLD. All in all, she write 26 chapters from the time she brought her son home right up to the point where is out in the world (school, open to societal influences, etc.) at nearly five. She writes about the myth of baby-spoiling, marriage changes after baby, night-waking, competition among mothers, the relationship with her own mom, identity changes, trying to understand a child's fears, instilling values in a material world, toddler sharing--an absolutely fantastic chapter called "Sandbox Politics." :) One of my hands-down favorites is a chapter on learning gratitude from a child called, "Thank You, Beach." I never read anything like that before on the subject of gratitude. It's a completely fresh perspective. I think the beauty of it is that this is not an advice book. It's not another dry how-to. It's the story of the author's journey through her first few years of motherhood, and how she paved her own path. She never preaches, yet the book is filled with insight. She shares personal stories, but somehow, you never feel like the book is about her, but instead about ALL of us. By trying to pave her path, she subtly gives the reader the powerful and empowering message that each mother's journey is her own with her child. Gosh, I really wish I had this book when my kids were bab

This book is by far the most important book I've read about motherhood. It is Lu Hanessian's memoirs of her life with her son for the first couple of years. There were so many times when I was reading this book that I wanted to shout "Yes! That is exactly how I felt!" It is the first book that I have read that talks about the deep and complex emotional aspects of motherhood. I had a hard time putting this book down, I have a 14 month old daughter, and I read this book every chance I got (during naptimes). This book is so well writen, not only do I agree and apprecitate the author's view on parenting I also appreciate her sense of humor, she seems like someone I would be good friends with. What I found to be most valuble was the basic message of learning to trust your own intuition, even if it goes against popular culture. Also, really listening and understanding your child for who they are as individuals. This book was so validating and empowering for me to read, because my daughter has never been a "textbook" baby, and I've had to learn to honor and respect her needs. This is my new baby shower gift for everyone, I love it and I think every new mother should read it!! Thank you Ms. Hanessian for sharing your experiences and thoughts on motherhood, hopefully it can help more mothers parent conciously and lovingly while trusting their intuition.