Lesbian Step Families: An Ethnography of Love

Very helpful perspectives for those of us struggling to come together as lesbian couples where one or both partners have kids. Five different family structures are examined - each with their own perspective on the role of each parent plays in lesbian step families. Gave great perspective on what it's like for the non-biological mom/girlfriend to be in a parenting situation with the birthmom. In a step-family where straight people re-marry, the "step-mom" is a mother without the biological mom living right there in the same household! These dynamics can be tricky and this book gives good insight into how different families navigate the uniqueness. We don't have to reinvent the wheel alone - this book connects our struggles by showing us how others are tackling the same parenting issues, roles, titles - whether it's 2 moms parenting equally, the birthmom who weighs in more on parenting issues with her female partner in a supportive role, or the female partner as more of the "dad" figure in the relationship. Do we choose to live together or separate w/ the kids? Do we come out at the kids schools? How do we parent older children who are struggling with their parents divorce and mom's lesbianism? These issues and more - find what resonates with you. For me, just knowing how other people are doing it gives me the info I need to create my own lesbian step-family in a way that works for us.