L. O. V. E.: Putting Your Love Styles to Work for You

This book looks at four "love styles" - Leader, Optimist, Validator, and Evaluator - which are the combinations of project- or people-oriented and faster- or slower-paced personality traits. (If you're familiar with Myers-Briggs, I'd say they were roughly similar to Thinking/Feeling and Extrovert/Introvert scales.) For example, someone person-oriented and slow-paced would be a Validator. The authors, a married couple of psychologists, are realistic that no one can be completely categorized, but it's accurate enough to be really helpful in most cases. The focus is really on bringing out the best in yourself and your spouse; it's not aimed at saving a failing marriage. I imagine it would be really helpful for an engaged couple as well. A book looking at personality styles really isn't unique, but I give it stars for the practical suggestions it offers. It's the one marriage/relationship related book that I have asked my husband to read, simply because it seems to have really "pegged" both of us. There is advice on being a better spouse based on your own style and on your spouse's. There are even tips on how to take care of yourself when married to someone with your spouse's style. Another benefit of the way the book is structured: once you get the idea and figure out your style and your spouse's, you really only need the two chapters that apply to those two styles. You can get the real benefit of the book pretty quickly. One drawback is that the assessment to determine your style isn't included in the book, but has to be taken (and paid for) separately online. At $14.95 for those reading the book, it may be well worth it for many, but it feels a little like a hook. I didn't take the evaluation, because felt confident that I recognized both my husband's style and my own. (I do have a master's in counseling, but I'm guessing many people would figure it out without that.) The book can certainly be appreciated by reading it on your own. But if you don't know your spouse's style, you won't get a lot out of it.

In the same comfortable, low key writing style that fans of the Parrots have come to enjoy, the pair have penned another winner. In this book, you will gain information about yourself and your spouse. Your strengths and weakness are both clearly discussed, using the four basic temperments. Even after 30 plus years of marriage, my husband and I found much to discuss while reading this book together. A few issues that had been bugging one or the other of us were exposed, discussed, and laughed over. I recommend this book to anyone who wants a better understanding of themselves, the way they relate to others, and what they are seeking in a relationship, as well as what they can offer to another person.

L.O.V.E. offers great assessment tools for understanding yourself as well as your partner. By dividing people into 4 different love categories you get some insight into what makes you and your partner tick. It is really written for married couples and gives some great marriage advice that will help you to take your relationship from good to great.

We have a bi-weekly Married Couples Group that has been studying different books - We're enjoying them - we've done s bit from "For Better or for Best," "Me, Obey Him?" and "If He Only Knew." We've never gotten real excited about any of them, the group is mainly to just get to know one another better, and at the same time strengthen our marriages. This book, though, is exactly what we've been looking for! I'm excited to order the DVD's and maybe even the workbooks so we can really learn about ourselves, our spouses, and our Creator all at the same time. The paragraphs and chapters are short enough to not overwhelm, and you can tell that both the men and women will enjoy the easy read, the short discussion questions (only three per chapter so far) and the new ways to think about how we all interconnect. The first chapter discusses personalities in general, and I was so pleased to think of my personality more as a God-breathed creation, rather than something I need to "fix" the quirkiness of. Can't wait to get started - I'll come back and update this review after our group uses the other products. Sra. Gose Mother of Five, Teacher, Author