Knock Yourself Up: No Man? No Problem: A Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom

This book is part memoir, part "how-to", with the bits in between filled in with the stories of other single mothers by choice (SMCs) that the author talked to. I'm really glad that the author included all of the stories and quotes from interviewing other SMCs, since I think it really helped give the book a more well-rounded feeling. The "how-to" bits are really good places to start thinking, but probably not enough detail for someone to actually use for decision-making and taking steps -- that said, I have a feeling that any book that tried to do this would be out-of-date before it reached the shelves, there's just too much that is changing too quickly. Totally a worthwhile book to read, even if this isn't a choice on your table.

This book is an excellent resource for any woman considering becoming a single mother and is written with grace and humor. It is more than just a guide book to becoming a single mother though, it is the story of the deep love and affection that can be had in a single mother family.

KNOCK YOURSELF UP may have been intended primarily as a "guide to becoming a single mom" (as its subtitle indicates), but I'm prompted to write this review in hopes of correcting any notion that its audience ought to be limited to wannabe moms. KNOCK YOURSELF UP truly is a marvelous piece of work--very well written and full of sweet, stirring, pungent stories about a wide variety of women who, like the author, chose to become a single mother. It put lumps in my throat, and giggles too. I laughed out loud while reading it on the beach in Florida, and folks in nearby beach chairs turned to look. It's easy to see why the book would be an invaluable helpmate to anyone contemplating the single motherhood journey, but Louise Sloan's terrific text is a great read for anyone who simply enjoys good anecdotes, who appreciates good writing (the language is sharp, witty, graceful), and not least who enjoys learning about things unfamiliar. ("In regular down-and-dirty human sexual reproduction, the semen, which can irritate the uterus, is filtered out by the cervical mucus, so only sperm can get in." Who knew?) One of the things that impressed me about the book is that it is a mature, balanced, even-handed discussion. The author is obviously tickled pink at being a single mom, but there's none of the horn-tooting or proselytizing that one sometimes encounters in "Self-Help" books. Instead, there's a sincere appreciation for all sorts of tastes and inclinations (and disinclinations) and a genuine desire to share what she's learned. And such wonderful stories this woman shares: tender, affecting, poignant, and often laugh-out-loud funny. In short, this book may have been meant primarily as a "girlfriend's guide to becoming a single mom," but this non-mom (and her husband too) found it to be utterly engaging, even memorable. It deserves a wide audience.

Knock Yourself Up is a fascinating, helpful guide to the wide world of single motherhood, as told by the funny and thorough Louise Sloan. I'm 32, and while not yet ready to take the plunge, I wanted to learn more about what might potentially be in my future. There are a lot of issues Sloan disucsses that I'd never considered, such as donor complications, talking to your child about where they came from, and the actual ins and outs of getting pregnant via artificial insemination (the image of the nitrogen tank will certainly stay with me!), and information about things like the Sibling Donor Registry, by which siblings of a given sperm donor can find each other. To her credit, Sloan shares plenty of her story about being a single lesbian, fresh from a breakup, going through the insemination process solo in order to have her son, Scott, both the highs (taking her son to swing dance class!) and lows (dealing with hemorraghing at the hospital alone, for one). But having the perspectives of so many other women, including their horror and success stories, is what makes this book so valuable. The interviewees talk about everything from the intersection of race, stereotypes, and single parenthood, to how they're perceived by potential dates, neighbors, and peers, the positives of being on their own as well as the loneliness and pitfalls. The title may be pithy and punchy, but the stories and issues included in Knock Yourself Up let women know that becoming a single mom is doable, but isn't a piece of cake by any means. In some ways, Sloan is a cheerleader for single motherhood, encouraging other women who think they can and want to do it to go for it, but she also very carefully lays out the costs, risks, and cons right along with the pros. From sex and dating as a pregnant woman and single mom, to dealing with well-meaning but often out-to-lunch family members and friends, as well as birthing options and more, this book offers plenty of food for thought for potential moms, especially what to look out for when it comes to choosing a donor, having a support system, and health concerns. The fact that Sloan found so many of her interviewees via the group Single Mothers by Choice, and the camaraderie many of the women talk about sharing with that group, is comforting. I found the fact that Sex and the City got mentioned multiple times here a bit strange, though perhaps it's simply now a code for living a relatively posh, single city girl lifestyle, as contrasted with one's life as a single mom. Various kinds of single motherhood (from one child to multiple) are put forth here, along with an excellent resource guide for more information. This is an excellent book which I plan to consult again if and when the time comes that I decide to become a single mom.

I am a single woman considering motherhood. On a three hour train ride, I was so engrossed that I couldn't believe I was already at my stop. The anecdotal format demystifies the whole process and with the range of experiences and points of view, helps me feel that there's a large, welcoming community out there that I'm already a part of.