Kids Are Worth It: Raising Resilient, Responsible, Compassionate Kids

As another, more supercilious reviewer notes, the ideas in this book are similar to the work of the developmental psychologist Diane Baumrind. However, this in no way detracts from the value of the book for three reasons: First, it means that the ideas are based on scientifically supported ideas. Second, explaining parenting styles only takes up one chapter at the beginning, then Coloroso builds on the ideas with her own. And third, comparing the presentation of Coloroso's books, tapes, and videos with reading a scientific paper is silly! ...Most people will neither have access to, nor enjoy reading dry academic papers.. And they are not likely to be able to suddenly derive from them, the kind of carefully thought out and articulated system of parenting that Coloroso offers. From concrete examples as well as abstract ideas, this book will help you incorporate commonly held goals of parenting into real-life interactions with your kids. This is not a book on just one concept or how to handle one particular parenting problem, but a way of thinking about parenting that makes each concrete situation so much more clear cut. You will like her style if you value giving kids BOTH a warm, respectful, open relationship where they can feel safe to be themselves and develop their own unique identity, AND an environment with strong clear boundaries where they can grow to understand how to make healthy compassionate choices for themselves and those they care about... And if you are tired of books by "experts" who have never been parents. This book grew out of Coloroso's lectures, which grew out of her own teaching and parenting experiences, and it is clear that she "has been there" and she practices what she preaches. Because this book was once lecture material, Coloroso dose sum everything up into, sometimes silly, but catchy little phrases as some have noted. However, I have found them incredibly useful through the years as issues arise.. When my step-daughter and I butt heads, like a mantra I hear in my head "Children need to know how to think not what to think."... or when my two year old "painted" our new linoleum floor, I took deep breaths and chanted "Never treat a child at six a way your don't want to be treated a sixty".. or during the thousand other trials that a blended family endures everyday I try HARD to remember the ultimate goal of parenting which is to raise adults who can say, "I like myself, I can think for myself, and There is no problem so great it can't be solved". In Coloroso's way of thinking these simple phrases translate to: model correct behavior consistantly eveyday, help your children to learn to make better choices in the future through natural consequences and making incorrect behavior an unattractive choice, and teach them to solve problems by progressively allowing them to earn more responsibility for thier choices and the consequenes of those choices... and much, much more. If you are someone who needs to

If you don't want to put effort into raising your kids, this is not the book for you. But if you want clear-thinking, responsible kids, and don't mind some effort getting there, you can't have a better reference. Ms Coloroso's advice is clear, and should make you think hard about how you interact with your children. Yes my son is 3 and I'm 30. Yes I'm the parent, but he still has opinions about his life, and some are worth paying attention to. And sometimes I'm wrong. Being the parent doesn't make me God. Also note, I'm usually in the right, listening means that I pay attention to my sons' opinions and wants, not that I cave in to them every time.Believe me it's much, much harder making a 3 year old take the consequence of a misbehavior, and helping him try to fix his problem himself than it would be to punish him for it and fix things myself, but oh boy does he learn more when I put in the effort.This is not minimum effort parenting, and it's not about letting your kids always having their own way. It's about teaching them how to think rather than what to think.

"A Pocket Guide to Kids are Worth It!" is a very small book with generally only a couple sentenses or a short list on each page. It's concise enough to pull out any time I need to focus. I found the advise inspirational and very thought provoking. My only complaint is that it left me wanting more... I recommend this pocket guide be purchased as a mate to it's counterpart full length book, "Kids Are Worth It!"

It's incredible how Barbara Colorosa's views and ideas made so much sense. It really hit home. Her book has taught me many things about myself and parenting. Since reading I have been able to better understand why some of my parenting techniques just weren't working. This book opened my eyes and my mind and teaches us why and how to let go of the old belief systems (tools that do not work). She gives great tips and ideas (new tools) which I have put into use and have been amazed with the immediate positive results. Every parent can benefit from reading this book!