Keys to the Kingdom: Celebrating Men

A few weeks ago, my wife told me that she thought I was "thoughtless." I was really surprised at that statement as I feel I go out of my way to try and make her happy and to make her life easier. I found this book and could not believe how accurate it was about how men think. And while there were times during the reading that i was thinking that it feels like it was all about "men," in fact, the suggestions will greatly help women. I fully recommend this book to anybody tring to understand how most men think.

The fictional storyline was only moderately interesting, but it served very well to demonstrate the wisdom of the book. Telling stories is an age-old way of teaching, and it happens twice with this book: Once for the character Karen Trevini who learns through the stories and lessons from the lovable "grandmother figure" Claudia Lambert, and once again for the reader by simply reading this book. Written entirely from a woman's perspective, this book uses a model describing the phases that every man naturally goes through in his life, and also describes the motivation for these phases. By "not" taking a perfectly good Prince and turning him into a Frog, it helps women to understand men better, as the perhaps strange but ultimately loving creatures they are based on each life phase a man must pass through. It also gives the male reader a way to understand more about himself and the phase of life he is currently in. But it does not stop there. It also explains by example of the storyline how men tend to think differently than women about things. For women, it is invaluable to know as a tool to understanding relations with men, and for men it is a positive affirmation for the tendencies that come so naturally. Let me tell you about my favorite example in the book. To me as a man, it was perfectly clear and obvious. It made me wonder why anyone would need to learn it, until I realized some basic differences between men and women. For example, when you ask a man a question, there may be pauses and silences before the true answer comes out. This is only because he is not finished processing the answer to completion. From several books I've read, women's brains are "generally" more efficient in emotional and linguistic processing than men's brains are. It actually takes longer for a man to process such things. So rather than interrupting and changing his course of thought because you want the answers "now, now, now" (which incidentally could make a man think you aren't really interested in his answer), simply remain silent for a while and listen to all he has to say. Your patience -- and silence -- is usually well rewarded with a complete answer that for once, tells you what a man could be thinking. He only needed the time to figure it out for himself. I do indeed recommend this book. As a man, I have been able to correlate the concepts presented in the book with actual areas of my life's progress. The author Alison A. Armstrong is clearly knowledgeable and wonderfully talented; and for once, a book has been written for both men and women alike, such that no one is offended and everyone learns something valuable.

This book is for those women who wish to have great relationships with their sons, brothers, fathers, boyfriends, spouses, friends, and coworkers. This book opened my eyes to understanding what we can do to save our marriages. I truly believe if all women applied the advice in this book to their relationships with men we would see a tremendous decrease in unhappy marriages.I read this book in 2 days and shared some of the highlights with my boyfriend, who isn't much into reading books. To my surprise, he said he wants to read it now. I've already had a coworker pay me to order him a book and I ordered 2 extra copies because I want to pass this on to anyone I can convince to read it.

Often, when a movement develops and takes hold in a society--to correct a social malady-that movement has a tendency to swing too far in the other direction. In my opinion, such is the case with feminism. Developed to prioritize the unmet needs of women at large, its principles and its programs served to meet those needs. This was (and is) a praiseworthy goal. However, something happened on the way to that goal: the needs of men at large often went unheeded or even denigrated. Just as in the case of the opposite, both parties were unsatisfied. Alison Armstrong's "Keys to the Kingdom" is part of a new movement: a laudable attempt to swing the pendulum back the other way, toward a happy middle ground.How does the twenty-first century American woman live in peace with her husband? By accepting three things that many of our foremothers realized almost instinctively: 1) men and women develop in ways that are fundamentally different from each other, 2) stemming from those differences, men and women have different expectations from each other, and 3) neither is happy living life with each other unless those expectations are met to a reasonable degree.In her novel, Armstrong ably demonstrates these facts of life. Her protagonist, Karen, has been married to Mike for several years but is becoming distressed by the lack of ability to communicate between the two. An older woman, Claudia, comes into her life and helps her to understand the "secrets" about men; those that have been handed down matrilineally in Claudia's family. Claudia teaches Karen that her husband's needs are just as important as her own, that they change as a man ages.The most enlightening part of the novel (for me) had Claudia explaining to Karen of the stages of develop for men. After reading these parts, I began to apply the characteristics of the stages to the men in my own life and found that they fit nearly to a tee. Behavior that I had previously found inexplicably--viewed through my female sensibilities--began to make sense.Armstrong is to be commended. She has done a great service for both men and women: increased their chances of being happy.