Just the Two of Us: Love Talk Meditations for Couples

Les and Leslie Parrott are two Ph.D's (clinical psychology and family therapy, respectively) and they are also married. They talk with honesty and humor about their own and others' marriage experiences--the beginning thrills, the let-down, the not-really-listening phases, the attitudes that develop over time, and many other themes familiar to newly married and seasoned married couples. Quotes from the Bible and from Christian and secular writers highlight the beginnings and endings of most of the topic sections (usually a reading of about 3-4 pages per topic). One favorite quote is from George Saantayana "When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions; their reasons are always different." The title of the reading by the Parrott's is "Talk By Numbers" and discusses how in deciding what to do, what to watch, what is important or not to the individuals, a rating scale may be applied. Asking your mate: "HOW MUCH do you want to do...?" And also asking yourself the same question. Then, telling your mate (or casting a written ballot)a number between 0 and 10 indicating your desire to do the activity suggested or watch that certain show (10 being "Definately want to do it", 5 being "Neutral" and zero being "Definately do not want to do under any circumstances". My husband and I have found this to be a useful technique in making decisions about where to eat, what movies to watch, and for larger issues such as whether to spend time and money on remodeling projects or on holiday relative get-together decisions. This is just one example of the quotations, marital situation/issue examples and discussion and practical, non-threatening, non-blaming ideas for improvement that abound in this little volume(136 pages in the Hallmark gift edition we own). Our regular Sunday prayer time as a couple involves us at the totally cleared kitchen table (an UNusual occurence at our house!)with various devotionals and prayer books spread out. We follow our order of service and select readings from a book or two that strikes a chord with us. We have discussion, thanksgiving, discussion of concerns, prayers, and end with the Lord's Prayer. This book is one of our favorites and we often open the book to a topic that seems to fit especially well (because God feels especially near when we are at the table during our weekly Prayer Time). The Parrott's book has helped our marriage because it has opened the forum to learn from their suggestions and discuss many of the situations/issues that are common to the process, work, and joy that is happy marriage! A highly recommended book for your own marriage or as a gift to another married couple who may be receptive.