Journey of the Heart: The Path of Conscious Love

I have read this book several times and never cease to come away with a new understanding. It has depth, compassion and useful information for moving through some of the modern relationship dilemmas that cause so many of us suffering. John Welwood is a Ph.D. psychotherapist with a deep knowledge of world religions, especially Buddhism. He also has a lot of life experience and has written many books on a variety of topics including other relationship books. One of the things I most like about this book is the author's ability to apply both modern psychological thought and Eastern philosophical wisdom to modern day problems. He does this in an easy to read fashion with a compassionate tone. He does not come across as omniscient, but rather as a fellow traveler on the relationship path of spiritual growth. I believe relationships are probably the best or at least one of the best self-growth paths anyone could ever follow. John Welwood shows us how to hold them as such in this marvelously insightful book. I also recommend his book called "Toward a Psychology of Awakening." This book is subtitled "Buddhism, Psychotherapy, and the Path of Personal and Spiritual Transformation." This would make a nice accompaniment to the book above, but the content is heavier and so is the style. However, it is packed with great information and it represents some of John Welwood's best writing. I particularly like Welwood's insights on "spiritual bypassing" or escaping our psychological and emotional work by overly emphasizing the transcendent and dismissing the wisdom of embodied experience. I'm sure glad a guy who is writing relationship books holds this point of view because as anyone knows who has been in a committed relationship, there are lots of important ingredients to a good relationship beyond the spiritual considerations. The phenomenon of spiritual bypassing is explored very directly in "Toward a Psychology of Awakening."

I have read Journey of Heart well over a dozen times and I always come away with deeper insights and awareness into myself and how I interact in relationships. For the past 5 years, I have given a copy of this book to all of my friends, relatives and even strangers. Reading this book can be truly transformative. Unlike many other books in this field, it does not presribe a set of techniques. Welwood beautifully articulates the various aspects of romantic love - passion, conscious commitment, conditional and unconditional love etc. He weaves them together and demonstrates how this relates to our authentic spiritual development. Journey of the Heart will stand as an all-time classic as we pioneer into the evolution of conscious relationship. Only the Levines' book Embracing the Beloved explores these issues with such depth and sincerity.

This book, and it's follow-up, 'Love and Awakening,' are wonderful books. The important take-away for me is that conflict in an intimate relationship is a reliable pointer toward my own 'stuckness' and emotional defenses. As such, conflict is a guide on my path of inner work to soften and become more loving. When viewed this way, relationship 'problems' can be welcomed as opportunities for growth and intimacy. That profound shift takes us away from 'what is wrong with my partner?' to 'what is happening in my heart?', a shift which opens the door to so much possibility. Of course, it takes commitment by BOTH parties in a relationship to use this paradigm to bear fruit. Just the same, there is something in this book for anyone who is looking for more love and intimacy. Wellwood's gentle and compassionate way of writing add to the books power.

This book should be on everyone's shelves, whether single or married - in a relationship or not! The concepts and ideas discussed here go deep to the heart of what love is, and how we make love a conscious choice daily. No matter what place you find yourself in along life's path, this book will apply to you in many ways. I would love to buy a copy for all of my family and friends, have preordered the new book to be released in 2000, and just ordered "Love and Awakening" because I learned so much from this one. This author is fantastic, and the book is life-changing!

John Welgood expertly, encouragingly teaches us to be whole individually, to be connected spiritually with one another, and to be "in relationship" with our partners in a spiritual sense, trusting in love and the process leading to growth, healing and development that necessarily occurs by the nature of being human and our contact with our higher power which can be explored and experienced on the path of human intimacy. He speaks of the razor's edge in relationships and staying on the periphery of emotion to observe it rise and fall in the Zen art of watchfulness. And, he cajols us kindly to be patient with each other, holding our love before any issues, situations or circumstances, letting go of critical voices that insist one chooses one path or another, rather than maintaining an open, loving presence.Perhaps being perched on this edge is best characterized by the word surrender, but he admonishes us this patient waiting, presence with our beloved, and watching of life does not mean submission to another person. Deeper surrender individually and mutually leads us to true intimacy and nips the problem thorns we all encounter.