Many of us absorbed the rules for being male or female from our families and the culture in which we grew to adulthood. We formed beliefs about a man's role and a woman's role based on what we observed and experienced; mostly, those beliefs had to do with what men and woman did rather than who they were. Our ideas about what constitutes "masculine" and "feminine," by now outdated and inadequate, have led to a precarious imbalance both in our inner...