Jewelry Talks: A Novel Thesis

The narrator of this odd and compelling story is by turns wise, funny, catty, obnoxious, and downright fascinated by celebrity gossip. He's savvy regarding semiotics and the arcana (and meanings) of unconventional sexuality. Fashion, money, and French and German literature and philosophy are important, too. There are discussions of death and customs around it, and suicide, too. You will learn more about gems and jewelry than you might have imagined possible (including just why size really does matter, and in the world of gems, what it says about the giver and the wearer). There are hundreds of topics in this story that Klein somehow exhilaratingly ties together, including tattooing and piercing. The narrator has chosen an heir in "Zeem," a young woman who will inherit his amazing trove of jewels. He doesn't know her, but he has plenty to tell her, in a variety of registers. He's by turns a fast-talking New Yorker, sometimes professorial, and sometimes almost naïve. He can be efficient and technical, and sometimes he writes with a luminous clarity and beauty. He talks about his personal sexual history, crossdressing, and the worlds of the transgendered - and jewelry and more jewelry.There's a good variety of methods used (fiction, the essay, and a lot of direct quotation from other sources) to discuss famous women, famous jewelry, theories of gender, sexuality, love, language, style, and money - along with gossip, innuendo, and a lot of information (factual and/or prejudiced) about gems and adornment, and erotics - to make an assortment of points. There's an attention to detail that is sometimes a pleasure, and sometimes (as when discussing each of Elizabeth Taylor's husbands) tedious. This story is much more than a catalogue of great jewelry and is never less than strangely interesting.