It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce

This is a wonderful book and I am grateful that it was written and published. My kids have had this book read to them by both me and my ex-wife at both of our homes, and it made a difference to them. It teaches them that the divorce is not their fault, which is a surprisingly tenacious thought pattern. I read it to my kids 3-5 times a week for several months, and still remember my daughter's exclamation when she truly processed that the divorce was because of the parents and not the kids, "Ohhhhhhhh!" I am purchasing this book for a second time because after not having read it for many months, I passed it on to a friend with a youngster who is divorcing. We then moved to a new house and my 8 year old is going through many of the divorce emotions again, and she specifically requested this book and said "I love that book". There is one excellent page with nothing but drawings of Koko Bear showing him feeling different emotions. Instead of asking your child how they feel, which they often cannot explain (heck even adults have trouble!), you can have them point to a picture of Koko Bear and then talk about that emotion. This book will not make the pain of divorce go away, but it provides a good way to learn that what they are feeling is normal and appropriate, that they are not alone in feeling the way they do, and that life will be okay even if it is not what we want.

To my 5-year-old, one of the hardest things to conquer was simply understanding what divorce is. This book made a huge difference to him--it gave him explanations, structure, validation and helped him to find what's positive about his new family situation. He keeps this book by his bed in a special spot because it has so much significance for him. I bought it before my husband and I separated, and put it aside for him for the time when he was ready to ask questions and be receptive to the answers. It made him feel better that a special book had been written just for young children experiencing divorce...it let him know that his experiences were shared by other children.

When I first bought this book I thought it was too advanced for my 5 year old son. I was wrong. My son instantly connected to Koko, the little boy bear who was very confused by the separation of his parents. The book described the exact emotions that my son was feeling. It gave my son some helpful coping tips and it also helped me explain things that I did not know how to put into words for a 5 year old. This is a great book for a young boy dealing with his parents separation and divorce.

Located in a small community, resources are non existent for a parent seeking help in dealing with divorce and its effects on children. I am so glad to have found this book. It allows the child to associate and identify on his or her own. I purchased several other books on the subject, but nothing came close for this age group. I would suggest Lansky's book, "Divorce Book for Parents" as a must as well.

This book hits home the message that divorce is not a child's fault, and that parents still love them, though now they are a family apart. My child was only 18mos. during that difficult marriage problem/separation period, and two years later raised many questions why Mommy and Daddy were divorced. This book helped to answer those important questions, and gave me excellent "talking points" to utilize.