It's Not the End of the World: Developing Resilience in Times of Change

Joan Borysenko offers a highly readable guide that moves you from a static, perhaps self-pitying state to a more realistic, optimistic perspective that allows you to confidently tackle life as it actually is.

This book is a gem. It is small, yet it's wisdom multifaceted and shines brilliantly. Joan Borysenko speaks with a heart of compassion and an incisive intellect. Looking at the research and recommendations of many respected minds in the fields of neurology, psychology, and spirituality -- she synthesizes an overview of how we can come into contact and utilize our inner resources to overcome difficulty and the suffering that comes with it. Far from asking us to repeat simple affirmations, she gives us tools to grow our ability to live in the world with resilience and strength. She asks us to look squarely at our difficulties, to encounter our fear and our pain -- to move through it, then beyond it. She sees us as inherently powerful and empowered. She has faith in the human ability to rebound and recover. And she wants us to have that same faith in ourselves.

Have you ever wondered why, when two people lose a job, one will sink into depression, while another will be inspired to finally have that home business, and go on to make more money than ever? Joan Borysenko explains why this is the case and shows you how you can make the worst crisis of your life into something beautiful. This book is easy to read (can be read in one day), and has plenty of examples, stories, quotes and exercises. Joan's inspiration for writing it came out of the stress in her own life of losing 30% of her retirement savings when the stock market crashed in 2008. In Part I, Joan gives us the 3 secrets of resilience: an acceptance of reality, believing that life is meaningful and finding meaning in the crisis, and being able to improvise. There is a chapter on "optimistic realism" which shows the difference between someone who is so optimistic that they are not in touch with reality, and someone who is more grounded in their approach. (Finally I have a label for my attitude that I can come back with when people accuse me of being negative!) We also learn about 3 poisons of pessimistic thinking: taking things personally, seeing problems as pervasive, and believing in their permanence (the 3 Ps). Those with "stress-hardy thinking," on the other hand, exhibit commitment, control, and ability to rise to challenge (the 3 Cs). In the chapter called "Helper's High" we learn about "flow reversal" which is how we can feel high by contributing and giving to others. In a "letting go" chapter we get tips on how to accept ("If you argue with reality, you will always lose") and forgive--as well as reasons to do so. Part II is about training the brain for success. We learn about the right brain, how to meditate (and why), "running your right-brain circuits of peace," being mindful, and true relaxation. We also gain understanding of how the brain works, and the myth of the brain not being able to regenerate is dispelled. We are strongly motivated to exercise not only for our body, but for our brain, as Joan explains how exercise helps the brain. Also, eating a high fat diet will decrease the regeneration of neurons! Part III is short and sweet, giving us inspiration to live with vision and purpose. It includes an afterword section that summarizes the 10 main tips of the whole book. This little book makes a great gift for any friend or loved one undergoing a crisis situation or overwhelmed with chronic stress. It is certainly a timely book for these days of high unemployment and general insecurity.