Invisible Girls: Speaking the Truth about Sexual Abuse

A few months ago, I started dating a very successful, attractive, and intelligent girl who revealed very early on our relationship that she was the victim of sexual abuse. Although she didn't provide details and I didn't pressure her for details, I had no idea the impact this could have on someone and as I got to know her better and see her more often, we actually started getting farther apart emotionally. This really confused and upset me because I was in love with her and I really wanted to be close to her. As a result, I began to push her to be closer emotionally and to share her feelings with me more often. Within a few weeks, she broke-up with me because I think of the pressure I applied to be close, among many other things that only now make so much sense. We remain, however, today as friends. After we broke up, I came across "Invisible Girls" and read it cover to cover twice. As I read the book, so many things that happened in our relationship and some of my friend's characteristics were now so understandable. I wish that I had read this book as soon as she told me her story as I could have been so much more understanding and more supportive toward her than I was. For example, each time that she pushed me away, I would try to talk to her about it and try to get her to share her feelings with me, but in reality I was actually just pushing her away. After I read this book, I learned that such people really don't want to push people away but that is what they have done for years to protect themselves and it shouldn't be taken personally. I should have been more patient and understanding to my friend during these times. I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to understand the affects that sexual abuse has on people, and to hear what steps individuals can take to recover, overcome and move forward confidently in their lives as independent people. It has given me the perspective and understanding to be unconditionally supportive, kind, loving, gentle and understanding toward my friend, which is the very least that my awesome friend should expect from anyone in her life. This really is a great book.

This is an IMPORTANT book not only for abuse survivors but also for friends and family members of abuse survivors. What makes this book so special is the fact that the stories in this book are written by the very girls who have gone through the abuse. I saw myself and friends of mine in a lot of these stories and the book really helps to break down and explain the emotions that one goes through and the steps toward becoming a survivor. I especially appreciated the sections where Dr. Feuereisen explains the differences between the myths and the facts. Dr. Feuerisen's approach has helped me to deal with my own history of abuse and I hope others will be able to read this book to help shed light on an otherwise dark subject.

This is a hugely important book that will be of inmesurable help to everyone out there who has suffered sexual abuse. It is possible, indeed, to recover from this plague and live a great life that belongs to you and to the ones you choose to share it with - not to someone who tried taking it away from you. "Invisible Girls" allows us to read one horrific story of abuse after another but also, and most importantly, one triumphant story after another. It is a book that does away with the taboo of sexual abuse by talking about it, explaining it, and letting us hear from brave women who have suffered in silence but are now talking.

Being that I am only 20, when I found this book from Dr. Patti's website, I know how hard it is to feel alone while trying to heal because most of the resources I have found are for very young children or for older adults in their 30-40's. I never felt that the books were helpful because the books never addressed stuff that I was going through and being at an age caught in between made me feel so alone that I didn't want to find healing because no one would understand, but Dr. Patti has worked for years with people my age and she really understands what it is we are trying to deal with. Her book is a must read for the younger generation (16-28yr olds) because it handles a lot of the problems that we face with sexual abuse, but which we can't tell others about. I can really relate to her clients in the book and for the first time I don't feel alone and see that it is possible to overcome everything that I've been hiding and to know that others before (my age) have made it through the daily struggles I encounter and can live a normal life eventually. It's the first book that really gives me encouragement to not give in to life and answers a lot of the questions that I have about the stuff we have to live with day in and day out, like the flashbacks and how people our age have tried to deal with them and it gives me a better understanding about the actions that I take and why I feel certain emotions and blame myself for things, when it's not my fault that things happened in my childhood this way. It's a good wake-up call to us so we can deal with stuff before we find ourselves in possible trouble again in our lives. This book shocked me the first time I read a chapter because through someone else's words, we shared the same thoughts and hurt that we all feel and seeing reason made me feel less trapped and more alive in the healing process. It's hard to find the words to describe this book, but it's definently helped me more than I could have ever imagined (and I haven't even read half of it). It's the first connection I've made that brings my problems into reason, because the book is made for people my age (16-25) and it makes you feel like you belong in the world, instead of a group lost between childhood and adulthood with no where to turn to.

The stories in this book are so moving - it's hard to imagine that this kind of sexual abuse goes on, but it does and it needs to be discussed. Anyone who's ever experienced anything like this can read this book and find that there's hope and know that they can heal from the pain they've experienced. I would give this to anyone who's ever been sexually abused and anyone who wants to understand more about incest, date rape, etc. It's an important discussion that needs to be opened up - and maybe by talking about it, by it not being such a taboo subject, maybe the cycle of sexual abuse can be ended. I think it's a really well written and very helpful and hopeful book. Thanks, Dr. Patti!