Intimate Connections

This book changed the way I thought about myself. I will never be the same again. There are so many helpful things in this book that I can't list them all, but what helped me the most was the realization that I am not a freak. Sounds simple, but I believed that I was, ever since high school. Now I know that I am completly normal, and life is full of possibilities. If you are afraid of people, think that your coworkers are thinking bad thoughts about you, can't even approach someone of the opposite sex, or are just shy, you need to get this book. You don't have to stay stuck where you are. Don't let life pass you by.

David D. Burns, M.D., has been a Clinical Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine since 1995, the same school where he received his M.D. degree in the 1970's. From 1975 to 1995, Dr. Burns served on the clinical faculty of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and served as Acting Chief of Psychiatry at the Presbyterian Medical Center of the University of Pennsylvania Health System. He has also written: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy; The Feeling Good Handbook; and Ten Days to Self-Esteem. He teaches workshops for the public and continuing-education seminars for mental health professionals. He was recently featured in a 90-minute nationally televised PBS program on depression entitled "Feeling Good"....Though this book is primarily directed at single people struggling to find a compatible mate, I also found it very useful, even though I am happily married, for two major reasons: (a) Loneliness. Dr. Burns believes that loneliness is not a function of who you are with, or not with, but arises out of not treating yourself well and enjoying your own company. Thus, even people who are blessed with a wonderful mate can get lonely from time to time. Dr. Burns shows you how to head off loneliness at its source by building your self-esteem through the technique of treating yourself with care and respect. People who treat themselves badly not only feel badly about themselves, they get very needy. When you are needy, you tend to become very self-centered, and other people very naturally shy away from that. Who wants to be with someone who is clinging to you out of desperation rather than unselfish, generous interest and affection? (b) Distorted Thinking. Dr. Burns says that the way we interpret the actions of the people around us affects how happy or unhappy we are--and how successful we are in getting and keeping close relationships. He provides many simple, practical suggestions for changing negative, irrational thinking so that we can prevent depression, anxiety and general misery both inside ourselves and within our relationships.I highly recommend this insightful, practical book to people in every type of relationship situation, whether unhappily alone, unhappily together, or happily together and wanting to keep it that way. Dr. Burns's advice can help fix or prevent any relationship problems you might have.

I've read this book twice. The first time was ten years ago when I was in college and having a lot of anxiety about meeting people. The book made me realize what habits I needed to change and gave a very practical roadmap to changing them, and my love life took off!Three years ago, I found myself single again and read the book once again, cover to cover. It really helped me bounce back from my breakup, made me realistic about expectations and rejections, and I started an active dating life again. Despite a few dated references (e.g., negative references to homosexuality) I still think this is a great book for single people looking to date..whether they are gay or straight!

Dr. Burns gets to the heart of the matter by developing your self-esteem, self-confidence and resilience to rejection (and you will be rejected) before sending you out into the cruel world of dating. He's not a pop-psychologist, but an M.D. world-renowned in his profession for helping people to overcome the sources of their unhappiness. The book is an easy read, and the advice is down-to-earth, practical and seriously effective. It's also [inexpensive], so do yourself a favor and buy it now!

Until several years ago I was relatively shy, and bounced form relationship to relationship. I had a hard time meeting people I liked. The people I did go out with wasted my time.Then I read this book and did exactly what it said. After several months following the steps in the book, my love-life took off like a flaming rocket. I went out with a different girl every week. I have since gone on to marry, and I enjoy a great relationship with my wife. Look, I'm not selling the book, but it is one of the texts that have changed my life. If you actually do what the book says, your love-life will change for the better also. I've seen the love-lifes of a couple of friends that I reccomended the book to take off as well.