Intellectual Foreplay: Making the Right Choice & Being the Right Choice in Relationships

Buy this book. Read this book. Thoroughly. There are enough questions to spread out over several months, but asking them all the first week might scare your sweetie away! The goal is to get to know the person you're with, not to interrogate them. Take your time, weave them into the conversation. This is a wonderful book for people already in a relationship, but even BETTER if you buy it while you are still single, making that list of qualities you want to find in a partner. I agree with the reviewer who said it helped her map her value system. Some of the best advice given in this book is that in order to attract the type of person you want to be with, you must first BECOME the person you want to be with -- if you want to meet an outdoorsy type, then be an outdoorsy type. Sounds insanely simple, and it is. I am already ordering more copies for my friends.

I've been carrying this book around for two months straight, reading through it with my boyfriend of almost 2 years and discovering things about each other we took for granted. Although some of the questions may not apply because of each individual's preferences and lifestyles, there are many that are thought provoking and eye opening. They focus your mind on the qualities of the other person that matter to you, and help you put together a clearer, more detailed picture of who the other person is. One thing it did for me is it helped me map my value system. This is not the type of book you read once and file away on a bookshelf. As far as the (only) negative review this book received, I found it unreliable, coming from an obviously embittered cynic who thinks every question in the book should apply to her and provoke some kind of Buddhist enlightenment. Perhaps she needs to make a trip to Tibet. For those of us looking for a practical guide to discover more about our potential mates, I highly recommend this book.

This is in response to the person who rated Intellectual Foreplay poorly primarily because he/she felt that it was not possible for seven customers to review the book in the course of four months. First, I'm sorry if you did not find value in the book. However, I would like to assure you that all of the seven "customers" were real customers and users of the book. Secondly, the book came out in January of 2000 not December 2000. However, what you probably saw that confused you was the REPRINT date, as the book's first printing entirely SOLD OUT! I invite you to revisit the book and CAREFULLY read the first four chapters rather than skipping to the questions, as your very valid issues of honesty and such are addressed in the content found there. In addition, in the first chapters I speak to the importance of carefully reading the material in order, rather than taking it out of context, so that you will be able to truly benefit from the questions and understand how to use them. Ironically, a retired friend of ours has just started dating someone and one of the first topics of importance to him was whether or not she would be interested in traveling the country in a recreational vehicle. So while that particular question was not of interest to you, there are millions of people dating with different interests-hence the importance of asking! Bless you on your search for love!

Being a young lady and all, I found this book to be a "life saver". This book allows you to get in touch with not only your partner, but also yourself. This book has helped me in more ways than one. It can help you too. I highly recommend "Intellectual Foreplay" to both singles and couples.

I wish I'd had this book available to me before both my first and second marriage! It would have helped me to not only know my partners-to-be better, but also MYSELF in the process. I now refer to this book when I'm in dating situations to help me get to know the ladies I'm spending time with. I'm also going to send a copy to my 21 year old son so that he can make more intelligent, informed decisions about getting into, or staying in, a relationship. Thank you Eve and Steve!