In Search of Good Pussy: Living Without Love

The first question one must ask before reading this book is "Why". Why am I as a woman (a BLACK woman) about to read this book? Naturally everything is about perspective. My perspective is that this book needs to be read by ALL. Black. White. Male and Female. Its purpose goes beyond the plane of pettily categorizing a woman's place in society. It's not even about that. It's not really about women (even though it is a great tool for women). It's ALSO not about excuses for being raped. Or about encouraging sleazy men to carry on in promiscuous ways that destroy their relationships and lives. This book is about African American Men. Their history and their make up. It is a waking up call for black men, as well as black women as our roles and history are intertwined. This book goes a long way to explain why black men, raised under historical circumstances that are CLEARLY described in the book, are framed the way they are and go on to do what they do to themselves and each other. Alternatively, it draws a clear picture about how other black males are able to stay clear of such "typical" patterns. Above all, this book is empowering to black men, who NEED to believe different things about themselves, so they can become conscious, accountable and do things differently. Treat them selves differently. And in turn treat their women and children differently. Women...Black women need to read this book. We need to assume some responsibility in all of this, because we birth and breed these men. Our role here is crucial, because we are dealing with black men. BLACK MEN. I wish I could say it so you can understand that I am referring to Royalty. Kings. Sons of God. Descendants of Africa. Ladies, our actions have been making and breaking them for years. From the dawn of Africa, the black woman has been a force to be reckoned with. Men sort marriage for a reason. To marry a black woman meant you finally, as a proud black man, had a reason to be proud. Over the decades as cultures have become diluted, even in Africa we have been abused. Yes. But still our place remains just as crucial if not more, because our men have changed because they were tampered with. We (their strength) have a role to play in restoring them. Our place does lie in propelling them forward through love and support, because they have truly been displaced. We are still segregated with well calculated exceptions, so like it or not all we have as black women and black men is each other. The sooner we start nurturing these men back to health, the sooner we can enjoy them the way they were meant to be to begin with. Back to the book: There is NOTHING negative in this book. It is REAL. And the tone is far from malicious or chauvinist. Given that there are critics everywhere (including myself), I advice you to ignore EVERYONE and just decide for yourself. But being it's highly unlikely that you'll do that, since you sort out the review section, I advise you to then decide HOW you're going to read

After meeting spears in 92, I picked up his book. At the time I was going through my first heartbreak. Spears book answered a lot of the questions I was asking myself. I would not only recommend this book to all men, but I would specifically insist that fathers give this book to their sons, uncles to their nephews and surrogate dads to their many sons of the street. It will give any young Black man some perspective on the world they live in.

Don Spears pulls no punches in this book. His approach is straight forward; candidly covering issues such as homosexuality, masturbation and things that make men tick in general. This kind of subject matter was normally taboo for black men, unitl now. He covers the things most men think about, but never admit.Very well done Don. MSJ Evanston Illinois

This is one of the best books I have read. It deals with so much of the actual problems and questions that "black men" deal with in their relationships, from infidelity to interracial dating. It is a must have and a must read. I have read it at least 6 times in 2 years.

I enjoyed reading a book about men, by a man...All to often men are "dogged," for our actions, without anyone saying anything about what was the Cause, for the problem. All men could benefit from Mr.Spears experience and knowledge.I believe that when most men realize that they have a problem, their divorced, alone, incarcerated or under some form of court supervision. Finally, I recommend that people "Read it, and Believe it!"