In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms

Ok, I know this is a bit technical but well worth deciphering. I'm glad to see it's risen to front page status, because parents need to make an informed decision. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think. I am a CPA and have been a SAHM for 18 years. Many are shocked to know that I have skills and chose to stay at home. I have been puzzled for years why more couples haven't figured out how little of the 2nd income they keep, after taxes and day care. I figured it out years ago & like John Galt, checked out. I have talked many couples into having one stay at home, by explaining it from a financial perspective (not to mention all the other reasons, especially that you might as well sign up for a slew of ear infections & tubes in the ears, if you put a baby in daycare.) It helps to understand how much of the second income you actually keep, on an after-tax basis. When your taxable income rises above $65,000 you are in a 25% FIT (federal income tax) rate. Add 7.5% for FICA and state & local taxes of 5%, leaving you with 62 cents of each additional dollar earned. Daycare can easily run be another 20%, plus the expenses of working outside the home (car, clothes, gas, eating out). So, if the second income causes taxable income to exceed $65,000, you may only be keeping 40 cents of each additional hard earned dollar. Not including the phase-out of the Child Tax Credit as AGI exceeds $110,000. There is no question that whatever choice a mother makes, it is stressful. I think it's a matter of choice, which stress you choose. My conclusion is this was not a privilege, it was an obligation. It wasn't easier having 3 in less than 4 years. For my sanity, it would have been easier to drop them at daycare, however, I might have been paying to work with 3 in daycare, after taxes. I am in awe of my kids, brings me to tears how well they're doing. My son is Valedictorian, is QB in football & center in basketball, my 15 year old daughter ran a 5:10 1600m and finished 6th in state for XC and my youngest ran a 5:32 in his first 1600m. I'm alone all day, every day from 7-5. I could easily get a job, but I don't want to miss a minute of the next couple years. I don't think it's worth it to bring home about half a dollar for each dollar earned, if takes any time away from my kids. Especially, if I have to turn around and give it to someone else to do things around the house. I'm focused on getting them into good colleges now. I remodeled our house, alongside my brother & own a 18V Ridgid tool set. I try to figure out and manage things myself around the house. I do enjoy it-painting, yardwork, iPhoto & iMovie, etc. I don't think I'll look back on life and say I wish I'd have worked more. PS-If you want to read more about the pros of SAHMs, read the chapter-"The Most Important Story You'll Never See on TV", in Bernard Goldberg's "BIAS".

I purchased this book for my daughter, who is juggling a job with three small children. I read it from cover to cover before I passed it on to her. It brought back many poignant memories of my youth, and the attitude in the late '60s and early '70s towards being a housewife and "stay-at-home" mom. I think my personal story may bring things in perspective, and support the value of this book. In the '60s-70s, the Feminist movement was in full swing. Of course, this movement had its rightful place, as did the Civil Rights movement that ran concurrently to the Feminist platform, since so many women were discriminated against and denied their rights in the workplace. We definitely have to understand the rage that minorities and women experienced when they were denied advantages given the white male majority. That goes without argument. I am a woman of 60 years. I, too, as Dr. Laura, became a "Feminista" in those years, as I was outraged that women were not given the same guidance and advantages as our male counterparts. However, we were also very much brainwashed into thinking all men were evil and manipulative. We were not taught the joy of a true loving partnership with our husbands. In fact, we were encouraged to be in competition with them! In that tumultuous time in our history, had I expressed among my friends and associates the desire to just be a loving wife and mother to my family, I would have been denigrated and dismissed. Actually, despite the Feminist movement, I opted for full time motherhood in the early 70s. Despite my happiness at staying home to nurture my children, I always felt embarrassed when I was asked, "Well, what do you DO?" In those days, your position or career determined your worth as a female..NOT your value as a mother. When my children were in their early teens, I unfortunately became a single mother and was forced to return to the job force. I worked over two decades for a company that summarily dismissed me a few months ago. They found a younger, cheaper version of myself, despite my giving 100 percent to this company for so many years. So much for all the "glory" my career ever brought me. I'm wondering, how many working mothers are toiling for similar companies, who discard them when their usefulness is over? What fools these mortals be, thinking that their mundane jobs provide self worth? There are exceptions, of course, but I do encourage all those working mothers out there to think about what they truly are contributing to "society" and how much they should be contributing, instead, to their own children. They might think about this: After a certain age, when their neglected children are adults, they may find, as I did, that my stellar "career" brought me neither fortune or fame. Of course, if you are a famous brain surgeon or space scientist, this may not apply to you. But let's face it, probably 90 percent of working mothers are employed in jobs like I had, where we are just working stiffs doing our jo

This book just came out today so I doubt the two that have written reviews could really make any good argument against the book. My life has been changed by Dr. Laura and her advice is 'common sense'. Too bad so few have it!! That's why these books are needed! I am a stay at home mom and used to be ashamed of it because EVERYONE (except my husband) thought I was 'lazy' or 'stupid' or other names my own family members have called me. There are so many books, magazines, tv programs, etc... that praise the working mom so its nice to have someone praise the SAHM for once. She isn't bashing working moms because there are certainly circumstances that a Mom would HAVE to work. Its for the SAHMs. Someone sent me a magazine called Working Mothers and I didn't take offense to it. Working Mothers would enjoy the magazine. I would enjoy something like that for SAHMs. So I probably wouldn't read the working mother as well as sports illustrated or any other magazine or book that was written for someone in a different lifestyle. You two need to stop being so overly sensitive!

Dr. Laura's new book In Praise of Stay at Home Moms is a blessing for us mothers who choose to stay home with our children. We need some recognition and praise for the sacrifices that us moms make. My husband works a full time job for very little money. He also tries to make some extra money on weekends so that we can barely make ends meet. We are not "LUCKY" to be able to stay home with our children, we made the choice. We eat PB & J sandwiches, drive crappy cars but live a very nice and happy life. If I went to work, we could have a lot more stuff that we don't really need. Nothing is worth Mommy Me being home to raise my children. If you don't like Dr. Laura, don't buy her book. Let us mother's who work very hard at home have a book of our own to let us know that we are doing what is best for our children. My Kids Mom Long Beach, Ca.

I am excited to read this book. It is about time someone wrote a book praising stay at home moms. I have a confession, I am a working mom. Oh how I wish I could stay home. We have tried to work the budget, have only one car, we don't go on vacations or live extravagantly at all. I even buy my clothes at the second hand store. Unfortunately, my husband needs help supporting the family. I have arranged my work schedule so that I get home before get off the school bus and my husband takes them to school every morning. BUT I still miss a lot! I miss enjoying the warm summer days by the pool with my girls. I miss being able to stay home when they are sick for a week. I miss just relaxing in the evening and laughing with my kids because I have too much house work to do. This book is for young women without kids who want to know what being a mommy is all about. They should read it and make this lifestyle their goal. IF young women understand that being a mommy is the most important job in the world, perhaps they will make sure to choose a husband who will support this goal and provide accordingly.