In Over Our Heads: The Mental Demands of Modern Life

I was amazed by this book. I was reading it when we left for a two-day driving trip. Even though I am unable to read in a moving car, I kept it near at hand to read whenever we stopped at a rest area or gas station. It was so compelling that when I finished it, I immediately tossed it back near the top of my to-read pile. The second time through, I found that it had just as much to offer (if not more) as it had the first time.Every once in awhile, I run across a book that helps me reorganize the way I think about the world. This is such a book. Through the use of examples and detailed examination of various aspects of modern life, Kegan considers what kinds of demands the world puts on us for thinking and relating. He makes a very solid case that cognitive development does not end after one passes through the developmental stages of childhood and adolescence (magical, concrete and abstract). By carefully considering what it is exactly that we ask adolescents to do in making the transition from concrete to abstract cognition, Kegan sets the groundwork for a careful explantion of what the next order of thought is, what it looks like, and how the modern world demands that we master it. he looks in detail at just what we ask from adults in the areas of parenting, partnering, work, dealing with differnce, healing and learning. In each case, he shows that the modern world is set up so that people thrive best if they can use what he calls a fourth-order way of relating to the world, other people, and oneself. This book helped me understand observations that had puzzled me, and suggests ways in which adult education theories (which generally drive me crazy) need to be expanded to explain what really happens when adults come together to learn.One very interesting thing about this book is that Kegan is able to report on research studies that support his theory. Probably the most important thing this book does is to provide a framework for considering people in the context of how they individually construct the world and their relationship to it, which allows me to judge whether a person is authentic, courageuos or generous on his own terms, not on mine.

By using various theories and examples, this book explains the parallels between the evolution of consciousness and the development of human consciousness in a lifetime. It is an exciting book that places our problems and developmental steps in the context of the evolution of our mind and how the two are related to each other as well as how we can become fragmented when the two are out of sync with each other. It is an excellent book that allows us to make sense of our present state and also take a glimpse into the future of our evolution. If you like books like this on consciousness, I would highly recommend "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is an absolutely fascinating book that explains these things in a simple (perhaps Zenlike) way that everybody can grasp. Two thumbs up both Kegan and Sato!

So often we struggle in a confusing and demanding world. Kegan shows us why - the bar has been raised so much so quickly that many of us are left behind. Usually we blame ourselves for being stupid, unmotivated, lazy or whatever. If, however, we realise that the level of awareness and self-motivation expected of us is so much greater than anything most of our parents were required to exhibit - and Kegan makes this case very convincingly - we can start to get a handle on it for ourselves and help others much more effectively. A very important and impressive book.

This tour-de-force does much to explain how people's interactions are affected by their developmental stage and goes a long way toward fleshing out adult developmental theories. It hypothesizes that mental development is intricately entwined with world view and one's understanding of events and roles. It explains relations between romantic partners, family members, communities, and cultures. Kegan's hypotheses are informed, but not limited, by existing psychological frameworks. He is like a sociologist in his outlook and a psychologist in his theorizing. He writes about sophisticated ideas and complex topics in a clear and approachable way. His conception of mental development is not easy to grasp in its entirety but pondering it is well worth the effort. The book is one of the best written in the last 20 years in any field.

Robert Kegan is brilliant. His book has opened up new realms that I wouldn't have been able to invision with the traditional Piagetian and Kohlberg theories. However, his writing style is highly complex, but it is this complexity that adds such bliss to his theory. This book is a must for students and professionals alike! 1