I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You from the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood

This book is controversial and will strike at the emotions of most who read it. It seems most things to do with parenting fall into this category! I felt its main attempt was to bring parents together in a "lets not lay blame or guilt, lets tell the truth about kids and parenting and try and help one another". As a mother, I mourn my freedom, my privacy and my hard-earned dollars. But I mostly regret that everyone told me how amazingly fulfilling and fun mothering is. For years I wondered what was wrong with ME if everyone else enjoyed this unique experience 24/7! I asked my partner how he would feel if he had to be at work 24/7, no pay, no holidays, loads of guilt, no pats on the back and constantly dealing with people who argue, make a mess and have no respect for privacy. His answer: "I'd quit". My answer: "I can't". For anyone considering this 'job', read the book and don't say I didn't tell you!!

Thank you Dr.Jeffers for this book. I have been childfree (not childless) but I constantly get asked "When are you going to have children". My husband and I just haven't felt the desire strong enough to actually intentionally have children. But, since I am the woman, I am the one burden with the questions, mostly by mothers wondering when I will be joining their "elite" society of motherhood. And why would I not want to join their wonderful world of no sleep, changing diapers, breastfeeding, and never again have a moment to myself to enjoy my life, let alone pee? I am not ready to make those sacrifices and I may never be. According to Dr. Jeffers, that's okay. Some people are just not cut out to be parents and the reasons to have kids aren't any better than the reasons not to. It is your decision because your the one who has to make the sacrifices, not your parents or anyone else. This book reaffirmed that I am not ready and I am entitled to make my own decision.Additional note: For those who think someone else's reproductive agenda is your business, you are incorrect. It is very rude to ask the wife or the husband when they plan to have children. It is none of your business and they would appreciate you not inquiring.

For those of us who have struggled and felt incredible guilt for our negative feelings about parenthood, at last, we realize that we are not alone, nor are we bad, we are just human. Yes, this book tells the downside about parenting. As Dr. Jeffers states at the beginning of the book, that was its purpose. There is already too much out there telling us that becoming a parent is the most "fulfilling" thing we can do in life. For some of us, this is true. But for some of us, this simply is not true.The author describes what changes occur in your life once a child is born. She is absolutely right on that score. And for some of us, it isn't a pretty sight. For would-be parents, this is a God-send, and for those of us already in the fray it is reassuring to know that we aren't crazy for wondering where our adult life went.What I was most impressed with was her talking about the "mad myths of parenthood" and the guilt-gurus who do their best to make us feel guilty. It all makes so much sense. By the way, this book should definitely be read by men as the author points out how sexist the world is when it comes to men and their children. It also reaffirms how important men are to the lives of their children.I closed the book realizing how much we are brainwashed about the ideas of parenthood and how important it is to think for ourselves. I also came away feeling that my children have their own course, their own calling, and that, while it was important for me to do my best to give them loving care (whatever that means for each of us), I must let go of the outcome. There are so many factors that affect them body, mind and soul. We all have to learn what those factors are and get involved in helping society move toward a more loving place.For anyone out there thinking about having a child or wanting to remain childfree, this book is a must. For those of us who already have children, it is a ray of hope and a source of peace of mind.

This book reassures those who are silently despondent over childrearing that they're not alone in finding parenthood so very, very much more difficult and disappointing than our society allows us to admit. Jeffers is correct to point out the insidious dangers of the conspiracy of silence around this issue. Her views are sure to enrage some, but the raw truth of what she unearths is priceless, especially the quotes from parents who finally admit their ultimate frustrations. A societal dialogue (confession?) on this issue is badly needed right now, and this book is the perfect starting point for discussion.

Tired of people telling you how to be a perfect parent, and that our children's behavior is directly linked to our abilities as a parent? Then this book is for you! Susan Jeffers tells it like it is- that you can fiercely love your children, but hate certain aspects of raising them. That our wonderful, adorable kids can also be bratty and cruel, and it's not our fault. As a mother of many kids, who wouldn't have it any other way, I found BRAT to be a funny, engaging, amazingly honest, positive reflection of who we are as parents, and who our children are as people. Finally, a book which reaffirms our responsibilty to ourselves to parent (or not) with dignity and self-respect, and to let go of the guilt which so easily attaches to our every parental decision. Whether you are already a parent, want to be a parent, are not sure whether or not to become a parent, or simply don't want to be a parent, there is something in this book for everyone. Definitely worthwhile reading!