If Loving You Is Wrong: The Shocking True Story of Mary Kay Letourneau

I, like most sane people, have long thought Mary Kay Letourneau was a nut case. How in the world, I asked myself, could a woman just a year older than I be in love with a 12-year-old, much less have sex with him? After reading this book, I feel a little differently. I still think what she did was wrong, wrong, wrong--but Gregg Olsen shed light on WHY she might've done it. (I disagree with the other reviewers who said differently.)Mary Kay (who actually has gone by Mary for years--the "Kay" was added by the media)was from a priveleged upbringing, but didn't receive a lot of love and support from her parents. Her mother was very cold towards her--Mary's lifelong best friend is quoted in this book as saying she never once saw Mrs. Schmitz (Mary's mom)show any type of affection towards her. Her father, as many of you know, was an ultra-conservative John Birch Society member who didn't practice what he preached--he fathered 2 children by a mistress. Her husband, Steve, who has been portrayed in the media as a poor victim in all this, also fathered 2 children by mistresses while he was married to Mary, not to mention he physically abused her, once hitting her with his car when she was pregnant. In this book, you gradually see how she never really received the unconditional love she craved, from anyone. This is not excusing her actions--but if you read the book, you can kind of see her gradually separating from reality. She honestly saw Vili (the young boy) as her equal--and truly, in her mind, fell in love with him. She believes him to be her soul mate. And Vili was no pathetic little-boy victim. He was a very street-wise young man who bet his friends he could "nail his teacher" (although he professes undying love for her as well). To me, Mary is definitely somewhat disturbed, to actually think the way she does, and to defy the law after she had been given a second chance. I mean, who in their right mind would risk going to jail for 7 years after they got probation the first time? That's not normal behavior. She was just like a petulant teenager, saying, "Well, I'm NOT going to do that." She was not like a normal 30-something wife and mother of 4. It is actually a very sad story. Like I said, I am not defending her, or excusing her actions. But in this case, I don't believe it was rape. I also don't think she would have done this with any other young boy. It was just the situation, and the two people involved, coming together at that time. In reading the book you learn who Mary Kay Letourneau is, and what makes her tick. I was a fan of Gregg Olsen's after reading "Bitter Almonds" several years ago, and I became more of a fan after reading this book. I think he is an excellent true-crime author on the level of Ann Rule. Read this book, and see if it doesn't sway your opinion just a little bit. Even if it doesn't, it's definitely worth the read.

This is a story of a very unhappy woman who tended to always put others before herself. Somewhat of a perfectionist in her job, devoting hours daily to her students and always had to look prim and proper, Mary Kay Letourneau made her mistake when she began to have an affair with one of her former students who happened to be 13 years old (a mere 1 year older than her son, Steven). Although I do understand the powers of love and that age should not be a hinderance, we do have laws, and some of our laws are not written but are morally understood. I was very much impressed with the research Gregg Olsen put into this book and, to the reader, this book comes across as non-judgemental. He gives you the choice to reach within your own morality and decide for yourself if she was rapists, just a woman in love, or a woman who just felt she was above the law. In my opinion, the age is a compelling factor here. As a parent, I wouldn't want my child (boy or girl) at the age of 13, sleeping with a former teacher (someone who is supposed to value education and teach a child good morals and values). Young Vili's future has been forever altered. He had to grow up far too fast. At the age of 15 he is a father of 2 and he doesn't even have a driver's license. If she truly loved him, then she should have done the MORALLY correct thing and wait. Let him grow up to be a man and choose some of his own paths in life rather than deciding his fate for him. My biggest questions are this: Might society have felt differently had this been a male teacher and a 13 year old girl? Has anyone thought about the effects this has had on all of the children? If you were the parent of Vili Fualuaa, what would you have done? Would you have wanted her prosecuted or would you have overlooked it? Read this book and see if you can answer the questions.

This well-written book thoroughly examines the Mary Kay LeTourneau scandal from all sides. To me, the TV movie was too Pro-LeTourneau and presented an extremely flattering depiction of a complex woman who was sweet, caring, endearingly scatterbrained yet conceited, snobbish, selfish and delusional. The book examines all aspects of Mary's personality, good and bad. At times the reader will want to club LeTourneau on the head for her incredible stupidity and blatant disregard for the law and how her actions would affect her children and her teaching career. BUT--at the same time, the reader will also feel immense sympathy and pity for Mary, given her terribly dysfunctional family life and loveless marriage. One of the saddest things the author pointed out is how Letourneau's ex-attorneys and Vili's family are trying to make money off of this entire affair by selling Vili's "Story" to the tabloids and TV talk shows. One of the most chilling quotes was from a fellow inmate of Mary's as saying, "She [Mary] kept saying that Vili was working on getting her out of here...I wouldn't count on Vili for anything. He's just a kid...As long as she's in here [prison], she's worth something to them. Sad isn't it? Isn't she something more than a way to make money?" One can only shudder of the media circus the lawyers and family will try to generate should Mary be allowed to marry Vili once she is released from prison.

I passed the Mary Kay Letourneau book "If loving you is wrong" several times before finally picking it up. Although it said true crime I knew there was no physical violence. Since I am a avid true crime reader, having read books like "In cold blood" and "Buried Secrets" I know that most true crime books have bodies that are destroyed. No, this was not a crime where bodies did not survive, it is a crime where minds may may not survive.Although the book was a quick read for me I noticed that the crime was hardly mentioned until the book was half over. I realized that Mr Olsen wanted to get as much information as he could to the reader to help explain things and people before the events had unfolded. For me that is the most important part of a book on any true crime. Also although the author let us reader's know what help and information he personally did or didn't get to put this story together, as a crime journalist he did an excellent job of using the resoures he had.I believe he truely gave this sorry state of affairs not only it's just due, but left a soft cushion for the six young lives involved. For now the sad crime is physically over, but down the line after the young people witness taboids and movies about it, hopefully this non-malicious, well written book on the events they had no control over will help let them assimulate what has happened to their family and why. In fact I believe they may be the only ones there for her after it's all said and done.Personally for a true crime book that was minus blood and gore, and that has the possibility of a follow-up I'd give it 6 stars and a thumb up.

I had read so much about this story in the media, that I almost didn't bother to buy the book. I'm so glad that I did, and found myself quickly caught up in the new insights to the Mary Letourneau story provided by the author.The writing style is clear and uncluttered by insignificant details, while at the same time answering almost all of the questions I would like to have asked Ms. Letourneau myself if I'd had that opportunity.I read true crime books because I am interested in the thought process of those who commit what are considered to be unthinkable acts by the majority of society. How do they justify their actions, both to themselves and to others? While Mary Letourneau will always be a bit of a mystery, Olsen's non-judgemental writing helped me see some of what happened from her point of view.Gregg Olsen has established himself as one of the top true crime reporters in the business. He ranks right up there with the best of the best - Ann Rule and Jack Olsen.