If I Was Your Girl

This book is raw, honest and gentle at the same time. What is interesting however, is how little the book actually dives into the main character's "transness". Amanda has under gone her transition completely and has moved to avoid the target painted on her back from her old school. In her new home, the only people who know about her truth are herself and her father, who, while flawed, desperately tries to care for and support his new daughter. Until the end of the story, everything is largely treated as somewhat normal high school drama/romance, with Amanda internalizing a great deal of her personal fears in the face of a relatively welcoming and warm school life. She becomes the new attraction, obtaining friends who care for her and even a boyfriend who loves her. But the trans element is never quite lost; Amanda is consistently fearing what would happen if the truth would come out but also desperately wants the truth to be open, feeling as if her lies are hurting her new friends. Her transness is a secondary theme to the love she wants feels for herself and others around her. Its a very poignant and surprisingly somber story to read, with dives into darker themes that emerge from the trans experience. The ending is not entirely satisfying; certain characters are not entirely dealt with and there's a strange lack of catharsis overall, but its not a bad ending; if anything its very honest, but also a little hopeful. While things may not have turned out the way everyone wants, there is still a broad sense of hope that things will be fine for most everyone involved. And in the fact of how grime day-to-day life can be, sometimes, just that little bit of hope is enough.